I Hate Your Team*
*or why I’m not cheering for the Vancouver Canucks in the Stanley Cup Finals.
I don’t know that there’s anything more subjective than cheering for a professional sports team. In fact, I can’t think of many things with a less objective sense of right and wrong. (That said, if you’re cheering for one or more of the Heat, Lakers, Cowboys, Yankees, or Canadiens and you don’t call any of those metro areas home, you’re doing this whole fan thing wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong.)
There are four occasions where it is ok to cheer for another team in the post-season:
- Your significant other is a fan and you don’t want to deal with the repercussions of not getting on the bandwagon.
- You have tremendous sympathy for the fan base (I’m a Cardinals fan and would not be upset by the rival Cubs winning the World Series. If ever a fan base deserved a break…)
- You see something meritorious in the way a team plays – call it hustle, grit, heart, beauty – and whatever it is, it’s worth recognizing and worth rewarding.
- You’ve bet a lot of money on the outcome.
As for the so-called reasons to cheer on a new team because they’re in the finals? Let’s deal with those one by one.
A Canadian team might bring home the Stanley Cup for the first time since 1993
Supporting the local team
1. Toronto Maple Leafs (8.5 km)
2. Buffalo Sabres (178 km)
3. Pittsburgh Penguins (365 km)
4. Detroit Red Wings (384 km)
5. Ottawa Senators (440 km)
6. Montreal Canadiens (534 km)
7. Columbus Blue Jackets (705 km)
8. New Jersey Devils (762 km)
9. New York Rangers (780 km)
10. Philadelphia Flyers (788 km)
11. Washington Capitals (790 km)
12. New York Islanders (830 km)
13. Chicago Blackhawks (852 km)
14. Boston Bruins (897 km)
15. Nashville Predators (1,260 km)
16. St. Louis Blues (1,292 km)
17. Carolina Hurricanes (1,315 km)
18. Minnesota Wild (1,506 km)
19. Atlanta Thrashers (1,562 km)
20. Winnipeg moved-again-by-2019 (2,052 km)
21. Colorado Avalanche (2,166 km)
22. Tampa Bay Lightning (2,205 km)
23. Dallas Stars (2,326 km)
24. Florida Panthers (2,376 km)
25. Edmonton Oilers (3,470 km)
26. Calgary Flames (3,413 km)
If it’s proximity, Vancouver is 27th on the list of teams I should support. Congratulations Vancouver!
If it's about Canadians, wouldn’t it make more sense to pick the team with the most Canadians on the roster? Hint: it isn’t Vancouver.
So, if it’s not proximity and it’s not nationalism. What’s left?
It obviously isn’t the hockey. Have you watched the Canucks play? I haven’t seen so many people fall to their knees, bite each other and fake it this badly since Dr. Fellatio #14.
It’s not the fan base. From defending Todd Bertuzzi to the tampering charges to the…wait, let’s just agree: every fan base sucks.
It’s not the entertainment factor. Hockey Night in Canada may be drawing record audiences for Canucks games but they could easily double these ratings if they replaced the broadcast crew with sleep deprived grade 2 students who only have a rudimentary understanding of hockey. The fact that I have to mute my TV to make it through 20 minutes of hockey makes it hard to support the same team the blathering broadcast team is explicitly rooting for.
It’s not the allure of the team. The Canucks have more sweater designs than the Habs have retired numbers. I may die a little inside every time I hear Alan Frew singing Free to Be. But, even that sad sorry warmed over pile of middle-of-the-road Canadiana is better than taking to the ice to a 20 year old “anthem” from U2. The Canucks in-game entertainment staff are so cutting edge I can’t wait for next year when the Canucks hit the ice to Tina Turner’s “Simply the Best”
In the end, I guess it really comes down to this:
- I pretty much hate your team. I don’t care where they play, how many Canadians are on the roster, or how long it’s been since your fan base got to celebrate something. I hope your team loses out in the playoffs and if they do make it through, I’m cheering for a meteor, plane crash or other catastrophic event.
- As a Leafs fan, I've learned the playoffs are a time to cheer against other teams.
- The only reason I'm watching the Stanley Cup finals (other than to see Jim Hughson leap to his feet enthralled by the Canucks completing a four foot pass or making a routine line change and, in his excitement, plummet to the ice from the press box) is to see if Tomas Kaberle can get his name on the Stanley Cup. I don't think there's a chance that it happens, but it's the only story line that doesn't make me grimace.
Amen. Perfectly said.
ReplyDeleteI want to post this on my fridge..I have some of the "Bring the cup back to Canada" spouting idiots in my household.
ReplyDeleteNailed it.
ReplyDelete26 maybe ... thrashers don't exist
ReplyDeleteThat very last point about Kaberle is why I am hoping the Bruins win. Cheering is probably too strong a word, though.
ReplyDeletePerfect! I am dealing with #1.
ReplyDeleteAgree 100% on Kaberle.
I love you.
ReplyDeleteCan you maybe inscribe this post onto a baseball bat, distribute it around toronto and then common sense hockey fans can use those bats to smash out the windows of every car that has a Canucks flag on it?
ReplyDeleteAwesome! #KaberlesTeamFTCup
ReplyDeleteI wish I had written this. Perfect. FUCK YOUR TEAM.
ReplyDeleteOh man this was a good read. Sums it up perfectly. I went so far as to try to adjust the sound frequencies on my TV to eliminate the commentators and it still didn't work, ended up throwing on some music and muting the TV after the 2nd "commentary" from Healey.
ReplyDeleteI'm cheering for Vancouver simply because I don't think the New England area needs to have a champion in all 4 major sports within the span of a decade
ReplyDeleteWhat I don't understand is what kind of fan WANTS his team held up as a national bandwagon. I mean, I realize that if and when the Leafs ever get good again, there will be fans of other teams getting behind us out of a misplaced sense of patriotism, but this would be an unfortunate bit of baggage that comes with the territory. Something to tolerate (in the same sense that one tolerates herpes), not encourage.
ReplyDeleteTo be fair, I've heard less of the "cheer Canadian" claptrap from Canucks fans this year than I did from Habs fans last year, or either of the Alberta fanbases when they had their runs. Not none, though, and that's a problem.
I agree that you can cheer for whoever you want, but hockey teams are just guys with coloured jerseys on. Simple as that. Most came from Eastern Canada (Canucks: Bieksa, Burrows, Lapierre, Bolduc, Hodgson, Glass, Malhotra, Oreskovich, Torres, Rome, Tanev, Luongo) Some came from Western Canada (Hamhuis, Volpatti, Tambellini, Raymond). The other are a product of the draft process and the best selections that were available. Do you pass on Kesler because he's American? No, or your boss fires your *ss. They are all sons of proud parents, with families and have all worked extremely hard to get where they are today.
ReplyDeleteYou're article does nothing but reinforce the jealousy that runs through Toronto fans veins (along with many other Canadian hockey fans). To wish a plane crash upon another team is appauling. The funny this is, in Vancouver we're having the time of our lives and the bitterness wreaking up the East is only making the experience better! Happy playoffs!
From a Canucks fan of 26 years who has never jumped on or off a wagon and feels he and his PROVINCE (not country) deserve to celebrate the culmination of 40 years of work while being stomped on by the rest of the hockey community for no reason other than "our jerseys have changed colours to many times". Bite me.
One other reason, abet a rare one, to cheer for another team, You, or someone in a direct blood line is drafted to/ traded to/ signed by said team.
ReplyDeleteAnd even then it is only really acceptable if it's you or your kid playing for that team
Well said. I was thinking the same thing yesterday. I kind of got sucked in by the media too and my Toronto friends who are Canucks fans. You're right - when it comes down to it Toronto fans should be more likely to hate the Canucks than support them in their Cup run. I don't really care if Vancouver wins or loses. I just want to see a good series with some drama and interesting story lines. For instance, where you're intersted in Kaberle, I'm very interested in what happens with Ryan Kesler and Tim Thomas...
ReplyDeleteAnother reason eastern Canadian fans might wish to cheer for Boston is that it would enable their own team (Sens, Habs, goofs in blue and white from Toronto) to measure up against the champs next year for up to 6 games. What's better?
ReplyDelete"we beat the champs! / well, yeah we lost, but to the Cup champs, duh!"
or
"we beat the guys who lost in the Cup finals! / well, at least that team was kinda good last year"
I'm sick of hearing about how much the Sedins dive. Let's assume they do, MORE POWER TO THEM.
ReplyDeleteYou're a self-righteous prick to think that hockey is about morality. It's about winning. No one's getting hurt. They never act like they're hurt. It doesn't create a culture of endangerment. If it improves their chance for a power play, good on them.
There's rules against diving for a reason - if the ref thinks they're diving, he can give them a penalty. Frankly, the only legitimate reason to want them to not dive is because though the ref may not think it's worth giving a penalty to them it'll make him less likely to call a penalty in favor of them.
Really, they just need to be better divers. Every single player in the league embellishes calls. Yea the Sedins are no Gretzky (well, maybe if you combined them into one player) but no one looks down on his accomplishments because he was always diving. He did everything he could every night to help his team win.
Also, what the hell does it matter how many Canadians are on a team? If you don't care if a team is from Canada, why should you care if a player is?
Yea, the media is full of pricks (ex. 1-10: Glenn Healy) but no one in Vancouver cares if you cheer for the Canucks. It's not like we'd ever cite "all of Canada being behind us" as a contribution to the win.
I cheer for Canadian teams. All Canadian teams. In '93 I was hoping so much for the Leafs to beat the Kings so we could have an all Canadian final. In the mid '90s I cheered for the Oilers to continue their mini-runs after disposing of the Stars and Avs in the first round a couple of times. Later, when the Leafs were SO close with Sundin and Cujo and Quinn at the helm I wanted nothing more than to see them get over the hump. The Sens almost got there in '03, the Habs had a good run in '02 and the '04 Flames and '06 Oilers provided some serious entertainment. The '07 Sens were great too - if not outmatched. All the while, I've been a giant Canucks fan. I bleed blue and green. And red and gold. And Navy and maroon and silver. Our colours are irrelevant and that's a terrible argument - especially when disputing the nationalism side. I want Canadian teams to win. I want the Cup to come home to Canada. The '07 Ducks had the most Canadian roster in a long time, and that's something we can take pride in. But what about the fans?? How many people in Anaheim or Carolina or Tampa Bay or Dallas are gonna tell their children about what it was like to witness the home team winning?? How many people in those towns would still be disheartened, years later, had their teams lost. I'll tell you that 17 years later, I still feel a pang of sadness whenever I see Messier with the Cup at his side. And I guarantee there are thousands upon thousands of people in Calgary who still cringe at Vinny and Marty with the Cup. Who still think about the goal that should have been. Same in Edmonton when they see Brind'amour and Wesley and Staal parading the Cup around. Imagine an alternate universe where it was Smyth and Pronger hoisting the Cup in '06 - in 2011, how many people in Raleigh would really care?? It's about the fans. To be relevant, sports need fans. And I for one hope that the fans who truly eat and breathe their teams get their just desserts.
ReplyDeleteYou're an idiot but at least you live up to the name of your blog. Vancouver has built a great foundation and they will enjoy similar success for years to come. You may as well save this blog post because you can re-post it next year and the year after that. What should really be disturbing to you about this year's play-offs is that Boston is getting contributions from a kid that should have been your team's draft pick. Haha. Your team sucks and they will always suck. Enjoy your extended off-season, asshole. You'll have to forgive me if I don't check back for a response to this comment. I'll be too busy dancing in the streets and attending a parade with all the other happy Canucks fans.
ReplyDeleteps...Fuck You
Finally some common ground with a Toronto fan. That sucks and I don't want any common ground with Leafs fans. We don't need you, we don't want you. The Leafs suck. I wouldn't be caught dead cheering for the leafs, I'd rather the cup was won by the team from Easter Island.
ReplyDeleteSour Grapes!!!!! Do you want some cheese with your WINE!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteYou know what's funny, Maple Leafs have 14 Canadians, 6 Americans, and 5 international players on their full roster. Canucks have 17 Canadians, 6 Americans, and 9 international players on there full roster. WOW THAT'S A HUGE DIFFERENCE. "...ok but you're jerseys change colour to many times"....WHO GIVES A SH*T, WE'RE HOCKEY FANS NOT FASHIONISTAS.
ReplyDeleteLEAFS ONLY WONS CUPS WHEN THERE WERE 6 TEAMS IN THE NHL. OOOOOOOOOOOO THAT'S SO HARD! WHAT HAVE THEY DONE SINCE? NOTHING?!? THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT.
ps How many Canadians play for the Blue Jays? How about the Raptors?
People like bmiljure are the reason I don't like the Cannucks. All else equal I'm happier seeing Canadians happy than Americans happy when it comes to hockey, but when the Canadians are going to be insufferable asshats about it, then let it go to a vaguely bemused and momentarily entertained town where they never normally see ice that doesn't fit in a drinking glass.
ReplyDeleteEvery season the Leafs won the cup they had a 1/6 chance, now the league is very even in terms of skill and there are over 30 teams. Times have changed and you can keep clinging onto the fact that you have won cups but know this, YOU HAVE MANY MANY MANY MANY MORE YEARS TO GO BEFORE YOU EVER HAVE A CHANCE AT WINNING ANOTHER ONE.
ReplyDeletemuahah..muhahahah...MUHAHAHAH....MUUUUUUHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHA
@Wan Ihite
ReplyDeleteSo you don't like Vancouver fans because they are sick of listening to Eastern bullsh*t for 40 years and have had to stick up for the Canucks since their creation?
This article stirs the pot, then when die hard Canuck fans respond, as Leaf fans would, the author says: "SEEE! I TOLD YOU THEY WERE JERKS!".
You people are sad.
Compared to the present NHL, winning a cup in the Original 6 era is like 'Roll up the Rim', you're bound to win a few times.
ReplyDeleteNowadays the Cup is like winning the lottery and the Leafs have a better chance of being struck by lightning.
We're sad? WE are sad? I've lived in Toronto for enough decades that I can fill you in on a misconception people from out west seem to have. You guys seem to believe that we in Toronto hate you. But we don't. We hate Montreal, sure. We resent the States along with the best of them. But there's generally a vague sense of goodwill towards the rest of Canada, and we like to go visit it. Sure we maybe don't pay it as much attention as you'd like, but it's a long long way away, and let's face it, pretty much everybody tends to focus on their own back yards.
ReplyDeleteSo Torontonians generally have a vaguely positive view of the west, but in return we get this wave of hostility. My buddy was in New York and went to a Canadian Society type of meeting, and never went back because everyone was such dicks to him when they found he was from TO.
I don't know what's up with you guys, but you really seriously need to get over it and stop being so damn insecure. You've got a beautiful province, a great town, great scenery, you don't need to spend your whole life pissed off because you feel you aren't getting enough recognition or whatever. Seriously, chill the heck out.
@Wan Ihite
ReplyDeleteYou're right. I should have said "this author is sad". The trouble with hockey in this country is that people judge entire teams, cities, and provinces on the actions of a few people. E.g. Canucks fan burning the Blackhawks jersey. I thought that was the most classless thing I have ever seen, and I really don't like the Blackhawks for obvious reasons. Burrows biting, that was also classless, but hey he's on my team and I'll defend him like family because that's what a fan does.
I think we all have to realize that people are very similar, whether they live in Van or Toronto. But people writing garbage like this only makes things worse. We can all agree on that.
Eh... I think there's this weird and confusing line between citizen-dom and fandom. On a citizen level I think Ottawa is nice but dull, Montreal is a fun town, if a little high on itself, people from the East Coast are incredibly nice, and I like BC, Manitoba, and the parts of Alberta that are in Calgary. On a fandom level I hate Montreal, feel mild contempt for Ottawa in a little-siblingy kind of way, and don't really care much one way or the other about the Oilers, Canucks, or Flames. I get the feeling that while the Flames and Oil are too busy hating on each other to have any real emnity for Toronto (which is natural and how things should be), Vancouver has this total fixation on the Leafs as public enemy number 1, that I find largely inexplicable. Don't you have local people to have proper meaningful rivalries with?
ReplyDeleteI find that Canucks and Flames are one of the biggest rivalries in the West. But I never find that the conversation goes beyond the hockey. Maybe it's because alot of Albertans own summer homes in BC and really like it here. I'm not sure why, but whenever a Canuck/Leaf argument breaks out it's directed at a much more personal level. I think that the reason is the fact that both of our cities have been cupless for over 40 years. We dread the thought of one of our teams beating the other to the cup next, and we dread having to hear about it for years to come. Although I understand that, I also believe that Vancouver fans (for the most part) sincerely deserve to enjoy the cup this year.
ReplyDeletei'm rooting for boston. why? has nothing to do with an american v canadian bias, or bc i'm from the east coast, or a million other reasons. there's really only one reason i'm rooting for boston.
ReplyDeletei have lost all respect for vancouver.
i lost respect two seasons ago, when they lost to chicago, and were absolutely retched losers. lost more respect last season when, again, kicked out of the playoffs by chicago, their fans threw trash ON THEIR OWN ICE. (really, class act there, vancouver. CLASS. ACT.) i lost what little respect i had for the team after they whined to the media about the 'unfair' officiating they received against the second-least-penalized team in the entire NHL (ironically, again, chicago.) when they finally won that series, henrik sedin (who may be a wonderful person who funds orphanages, but clearly is not excluded from opening his mouth and saying stupid things) had to go off and insult chicago and whether or not they 'deserved' to be in the postseason. let's ignore how tight the western conference was and not make arguments for three-four other teams that equally deserved to be there. let's even ignore the ugly state of the van-chi rivalry. how good-sportsman-like is it of your team's captain to, rather than graciously comment on their victory, instead offers nothing but snide derisive remarks? in fact, the ONLY player i saw in the media who made any complementary comments after that game against their rivals who they finally defeated after three postseason meetings was luongo, who gave toews his due and said, 'well done, corey crawford' (who he trains with in the offseason).
it's hard to cheer for a team whose players, coaches, and management staff you truly can't find reason to respect.
also, to contradict what one commentor said, i don't think every player in the NHL embellishes every hit/fall/penalty. i don't think it's unheard of, either. but stereotypes exist for reasons, and well...sorry, but there are reasons everyone makes sedin-fall comments with increasing regularity. sidney crosby better be careful, he's about to lose his crown...
Why are Vancouver fans on a Leafs blog? If you are partying in the street, how do you have the time? I've been to Vancouver about 5 times on business, and they really hate Toronto. Its true, we don't hate them, but they hate us. That is the way it is. I would love to cheer for a Vancouver team, but this current edition is not very loveable, I preferred the 93 team that beat the Leafs as they were much more humble.
ReplyDeleteWhat is it with people in Vancouver that they have to come on a Leafs blog and through f bombs around? They need to get a life.
As for Toronto as a bunch of Losers, when was the last championship won in Vancouver?
Anonymous @ 7:39, the last Vancouver team to win a championship (in hockey) were the Vancouver Millionaires when they won the Stanley Cup in 1915 against, wait for it, the Ottawa Senators.
ReplyDeleteI think the tone of the article can be construed as bitter but I won't go there. I thought it was well done actually. As a Canucks fan, I really don't care who cheers for this team. Does it represent Canada? No.
ReplyDeleteI would like you to explain why you see nothing meritorious in the way the Canucks play though. Is it all the biting and hair-pulling? heheh
I'm cheering for Tomas Kaberle...
ReplyDeleteI refuse to buy in to the "Canadian team" bullshit because I know that there isn't a chance in hell that any of the Canucks/Habs/Flames/OIlers/Sens/(Jets?) fans I know would cheer for the Leafs in a cup final. Nor should they. The whole concept is asinine.
Reading through the comments to this post gives me yet another reason to not cheer for the Canucks.
ReplyDeleteWhat a bunch of douchey fans. Good lord. Get over yourselves. You're not out there on the ice, you won't be the one raising the cup. There's cheering for a team and there's being a cocky bastard ... I've noticed a majority of Canucks fans cross that line very easily.
I hope your team loses forever.
"Most Canadians are finally ready to claim the Vancouver Canucks as their team, says a new online poll.
ReplyDeleteAn Ipsos Reid poll for Rogers Sportsnet found 62 per cent of those asked hope the Canucks bring the Stanley Cup back to Canada.
In contrast, only one in 10 are cheering for a Boston Bruins victory, and just over a quarter of Canadians have no opinion on the matter.
"It has been 18 long years since a Canadian-based NHL team has won the Stanley Cup and it looks like the country is overwhelmingly saying, 'We want it back - now!'" Steve Mossop, president of Ipsos Reid's Western Canada branch, said in a press release. "Just as it was during the 2010 Olympics, Rogers Arena is once again the focus of Canada's hockey obsession.""
"The Canucks are Canada's team, according to two new polls, dispelling doubts that the rest of the country cares about the West Coast warriors.
Survey results released Wednesday by Angus Reid Public Opinion show that seven out of 10 Canadians say they're rooting for the Canucks in the Stanley Cup Final.
Those findings are a smack in the face for opinion writers who have claimed the Canucks aren't Canada's team in newspaper editorials across the country in recent weeks."
You really shouldn't knock Dr. Fellatio #14. I think a repeated viewing is in order for you as there's obviously some plot nuances you missed the first time through.
ReplyDeletelol, funny how pissed off toronto fans get when some of their own start realising that there isnt much of a hope of the cup comming any where near there city, well we're freaking out drunk when van city brings the cup home, you guys can all come onto this blog and talk about how much you hate a succesfull team....sounds like a hell of a time...
ReplyDeletejust goes to show that the worst team in the league are also the worst (for like the 15th year in a row)
keep cheerin on the leafs if you want i guess LOL
lol @ anonymous
ReplyDeleteAnd I quote from the 2nd point of closing comments of the original post:
ReplyDelete"In the end, I guess it really comes down to this:
2. As a Leafs fan, I've learned the playoffs are a time to cheer against other teams."
Is that because you've learned that cheering for your own team isn't an option?
Sorry...just had to point that out.
Really though...who cares? It's a game, that none of us have any say over the outcome of. That's up to players play the game...not us. If you had spent any time on the ice with either of these teams I might care about your opinion. But I'm guessing you didn't...So I don't care about your opinion. You're stuck just watching. Same as me. And we have no say over how they play or what happens. So just shut up and watch it happen. Same as me.
The point of the article was not, "Reasons not to cheer for Vancouver," but rather, "I don't cheer for any team other than my own." What exactly is wrong with that? Isn't the definition of a fan of a sports team someone who cheers for that team to the exclusion of all other competing teams? Why should that dynamic change simply because the fan's team is not in the championship?
ReplyDeleteSeems to me the author is being entirely consistent in his fandom.
You couldn't have hit the nail on the head harder. I'm from Ontario but have lived in Vancouver for 20 years, the obnnoxious fair weather fans here don't deserve a Stanley Cup, the Toronto hating media don't deserve a Stanley Cup & their whiny dirty players don't deserve a Stanley Cup.
ReplyDeleteThank God the Bruins came through & won it, it was totally unexpected but very welcome.
Chris R
vancouver BC.
whats the hardest part about being a Leafs fan? telling your parents your gay
ReplyDelete6 years no playoffs, i think they can go 10
"The funny this is, in Vancouver we're having the time of our lives and the bitterness wreaking up the East is only making the experience better! Happy playoffs!"
ReplyDeleteYeah... I hear it was a riot in Vancouver.
We are making a film about the Maple Leafs and we want you to take a look!
ReplyDeletehttp://www.unbeleafablefilm.com/
Depending on the response, we will either continue or stop production.
So please take a look.
Thanks!