A (graphic) look at my sports fandom

One of the sports topics that interest me is the origin of fandom. How do people become fans of certain sports and particular teams?

Geography is usually the easiest answer, but it so rarely tells the whole story. I was born in Toronto and, with the exception of a few years in my early 20s spent bouncing around Canada in various schools and jobs, I have lived in Toronto my whole life. Yet the Leafs are the only local team I cheer for.

My father in-law is from High River, Alberta but, thanks to the French Connection (the line of Rene Robert, Gibert Perreault and Rick Martin, not the fine Gene Hackman film) he is a Sabres fan. My five-year-old son, who loves his grandfather more than just about anything, is now becoming a Sabres fan too (I know, I know…)

I decided to re-visit the history of my fandom and to do it in a chart form. It was fun to realize what put me on to certain teams and a bit of an eye opener to realize I’ve only seen teams I cheer for win four titles in 36 years. Maybe I should have been born in Montreal…




click here for a larger image


A Few Notes:

1976: Film of Darryl Sittler scoring on Czechoslovakia is one of my earliest hockey memories.

1976: My First Leaf game at Maple Leaf Gardens. Sat in the East Greens with my father. He took me to one game a season until the late 1980s. (In kindergarten, so I am told, I wanted to grow-up to be Mike Palmateer).

1977: Willie Stargell, Pillbox Hats, Stargell Stars, Sisater Sledge singing “We are Family” and waiting desperately to watch This Week in Baseball. How could I not be a Pirates Fan?

1978: Saw Heaven Can Wait (my mother dragged me along to any film that she wanted to see, I saw a whole pile of stuff I probably shouldn't have - Being There as an 8 year old springs to mind). In watching Heaven Can Wait, I was immediately taken by Julie Christie, quite possibly my first crush. Warren Beatty's character played for the L.A. Rams. Even as a seven year old, this was an easy decision.

1979: Watched the Steelers win Super Bowl XIII and I had a new team. Couldn't get enough of Lynn Swann.

1981: Realized my father was a Washington Red Skins fan. One of the few, if not the only team, I ever remember him supporting. As a typical 10 year old, I instantly became a fan of the New York Giants.

1981: My dad went to St. Louis on a business trip and bought me a Cardinals shirt. The next year, the Cardinals acquired Ozzie Smith and won the World Series. Hard not to be a fan after that (despite the sudden ubiquity of Expos gear at school and on the ball diamonds).

1982: The first World Cup I can remember. Established a precedent largely held to this day - I decided to cheer for Germany as most of my peers were cheering for Italy.

1982: Cardinals win the World Series. This is the first Championship of any sort that I remember. I can recall fighting with a neighbour afterwards who, inexplicably, was a Brewers fan.

1986: Canada's first and only World Cup appearance. English bookkeepers set very long odds of Canada scoring a single goal and they were right. Canada was blanked in the tourney.

1987: Saw Canada play USA in the Canada Cup. This was the team that Yzerman couldn’t make. Gretzky and Lemieux played on the same line. Might be the best sporting event I’ve seen live.

1986: New York Giants win Super Bowl XXI (I still have a VHS tape of this game).

1989: After nearly a decade of playing hardball (stopped in ’85) I joined a co-ed softball team, that played in weekend tournaments around the GTA. Our team wore Braves colours/logos and, as a result, I became a bit of a fan.

1990: New York Giants win Super Bowl XXV. I felt like the least popular guy in my university residence, which suddenly seemed to be nothing but Bills fans.

1991: The Twins-Braves World Series remains one of my favourite sports memories. An incredible playoff series with five games decided by a single run.

1992: Lived in a house full of basketball fans and took a minor interest in Phoenix after the Barkley trade (and Seaton Hall as well, one of my roomates was a big Syracuse Orange fan). Moved out of that house in 1993 and left my basketball fandom behind.

1994: Was fascinated by Ruudi Guillet and began a bit of pattern of cheering for the Netherlands in the World Cup.

1994: I had already drifted away from baseball, but the 1994-95 work stoppage pretty much euthanized any interest I had in the game.

2001: Ashamed to admit it, the Home Run chase of McGwire, Sosa and Bonds brought me back to the game…with fond memories of my youth and the amazing NES RBI Baseball 3 teams, I once again become a Cardinals fan.

2004: St. Louis Cardinals play in the World Series…

2006: St. Louis Cardinals win the World Series.

2006: My (then) three-year-old daughter and I make a World Cup bracket by drawing and colouring the flags of all the teams involved. Somehow, perhaps at my daughter’s request, I end up cheering for France.

2007: New York Giants win Super Bowl XLII.

2008: My wife takes part in an annual NCAA March Madness Pool. It's a big thing in her office, over 50 entries, lots of trash talking. After a few years of this, I finally decide to participate. In the past five years I’ve become a big fan of NCAA ball, but I've yet to place higher than my wife in the pool (it’s the only sport I watch despite not having a team to cheer for).

2009: I somehow became a Stoke City FC fan.

2010: Back to cheering for the Netherlands. Watch them lose to Spain on a fuzzy TV with rabbit years in the wilds of Northern Ontario.

Brian Burke Can't Even Manage Expectations

Brian Burke says a lot of things.

He’d pull the trigger on Kessel again.

Ron Wilson’s job is safe.

“Our goal is to make the playoffs; that's our intention. We think this team is good enough.”

I don’t know if I believe a word of it.

There are four simple words that Burke might want to take under consideration moving forward: under promise, over deliver.

Not only are those four words a pretty good maxim, they may also the one thing the Cliff Fletcher did right in his second go ‘round with the Toronto Maple Leafs.

I had all the patience in the world for the Leafs to bottom out, shed the JFJ remnants and bad contracts, get younger, get deeper, and hopefully get better.

But if the new GM doesn’t have the patience for a re-build – and sacrificing two firsts a second and a third is proof positive of that - why should fans?

I haven’t been writing much about this team because there’s not much to write about. Going into the season, it was clear that the PK and goaltending needed to be addressed in order for this team to have any sort of chance, never mind success. Neither of these shortcomings were dealt with and the team continues to play some ugly hockey.

How ugly? Even if the team manages to go .500 the rest of the way (a tall order) the Leafs will finish with their lowest point total since the lock-out and their worst season in over 10 years.

To put that in perspective, Wilson and Burke are on target to ice a team that finished 9 points back of the worst team ever assembled by JFJ.

"We believe we're good enough this year to make the playoffs."

Sorry Mr. Burke, you're not even close.

Une saison perdu (with aplogies to Hemingway)

When Thales was asked what is most universal, he answered, Hope, for hope stays with those who have nothing else - Epictetus, Fragments.

I'm beginning to think Thales didn't know what it is to be a Leafs fan.

Earlier this year, before a single game had been played, a good friend of mine told me that this would be the worst Leaf season since the lockout. The team was largely without talent up front and lacked a certified puck stopper. Giving up five of eight first round picks meant there were little to no reinforcements on the farm, little depth in the system, and very few tradable assets to spackle over the many holes in the Leafs roster.

I hate to say it, but it looks like he was right.

The worst part is, with so few assets on the farm, the cap situation limiting most trades, no draft picks with which to stock up on young talent and so few appealing UFAs hitting the market, I don’t see how this team gets significantly better (never mind how limited their options are if Kessel gets hurt).

Where Will the Players Come From?

The big question for this organization is how to re-build without draft picks? How does this team acquire the cost-effective talent and depth required to compete?

Yes, the Leafs will have plenty of cap space in the off-season and likely a barren roster to re-populate as Exelby, Mayers, Ponikarovsky, Primeau, Stajan, Stempniak, Toskala, Wallin and Van Ryn are all pending UFAs. Unfortunately, it’s not exactly a bumper crop of UFAs hitting the market and several of the big name UFAs will likely sign long-term deals with their current clubs.

More importantly, UFA contracts are rarely full-value (Hey look - it's Jason Blake, Jeff Finger and 15% of the Leafs' cap hit) and a very inefficient and unproven way to build a successful hockey team in a capped system.

Down on the farm, the Leafs have four, maybe five, kids that might make a contribution at the NHL level.

Next season Hanson, Bozak and Stalberg will have a shot at cracking the 3rd, possibly 2nd line, and Gunnarson will get his shot as the fifth or sixth D. That’s it. The following season, Kadri gets his chance (let’s not rush the boy). After that the cupboard is pretty much bare.

The just leaves the, ahem, small task of landing 2/3 of a first line – including a true first-line pivot that can play the tough minutes and get Kessel the puck - 1/3 of a second line, a starting goalie, and someone that can run the PK.

All of these needs have to be acquired via free agency or by trading players that are uniformly having terrible seasons.

Sounds like a good plan.

There will be no Restocking of High Round Draft Picks

Last year at the trade deadline a single first round pick changed hands. Just one. First round picks have never been worth more. The one thing that's never had higher value comes at a time when the Leafs don't have any (quelle suprise).

This year, short of trading Tomas Kaberle (who has a NTC, a clause that Brian Burke stated he will not ask Kaberle to waive) or the few prospects that the Leafs have, there is no asset on the Leafs roster worthy of a first round pick.

There is no first round pick coming as part of a salary dump.

Let me say this again: There is no first round pick coming as part of a salary dump.

Every year since the lockout countless ink has been spent, millions of pixels distributed and the airwaves polluted with chatter that teams in cap trouble would trade high draft picks to shed problem salaries.

With the exception of a single deal between San Jose and New Jersey four years ago, it hasn't happened and I doubt it ever will.

Waivers, buy-outs, and loans to European teams are all far more viable and acceptable options than trading away an ever more valuable asset just to deal with a bad contract.

If anything, GMs have figured out that dead contracts can be dumped as part of bigger deals: JFJ wants Toskala? He's got to take Mark Bell. Got a deal for Dany Heatley? Here's Cheechoo, a little washed up and weighted down with cash. Want one of the Hawks big prospects, better stitch Campbell's name on the back of a jersey.

Another Lost Season

With just 3 wins at the first quarter mark of the season, the Leafs are pretty much just playing out the string.

The only thing to look forward to this year is the trade deadline where the team might be able to procure a second or third round pick and a whole pile of 5th and 6th rounders for their spare parts. (Who would have guessed that the true passion that unites us all is a day in mid-February where we get to see a bunch of guys wiped from the Leafs roster?)

On pace for 12 wins, fewest goals for, most goals against and maxed out at the cap. Two top 10 draft picks in the last two years already in the system. Just think, this is where Chicago was in 2005, and where Pittsburgh and Washington were in 2004. Sadly, I can’t see a similar upside for a Leaf team with so few options left.

Yeah, the sun also ariseth - unfortunately, the Leafs' fortunes never seem to.

Toronto Maple Leafs: Ugly numbers

After playing three hundred and four minutes and forty seven seconds of hockey this young season, the Leafs have held a lead for all of six minutes and forty seconds. That's about 2% of total time on ice.

The Leafs trailed Montreal for 7:12, Washington for 58:43, Ottawa for 33:15, Pittsburgh for 56:40 and the New York Rangers for 57:26.

All told, the Leafs have been in the hole for 213:16 of this season or 70% of their time on the ice.

The Leafs have yet to score the first goal of a game and have given up a goal in the first three minutes of play against Washington, Pittsburgh and New York.

Vesa Toskala has given up at least one goal in every single period he's played. The longest Toskala has gone without surrendering a goal is 29:12 (part of the second and part of the third period) against Montreal.

Gustavsson has put up zeroes in two of the three periods he played.

The Leafs have given up 24 goals in five games and are dead last, 30th overall, in goals against.

Averaging 2.5 goals a game, the Leafs are 24th in goals for.

The Leafs are 29th in the NHL on the PK (let's hear it for Dallas!) and 10th on the PP.

With an, ahem, winning percentage of .100, the Leafs are last in the North East Division, last in the Eastern Conference and dead last overall.

With 77 games remaining, to hit the 95 point mark (the presumed cut-off to qualify for the playoffs) the Leafs have to play .611 hockey for the balance of the season.

These are your 2009-2010 Toronto Maple Leafs.

It has a nice ring when you laugh at the low life opinions

Dear Most Valuable Losers:

Yesterday, continuing a long-standing trend, another Toronto reporter took a cheap shot at Leaf fans. This time it was Howard Berger who called us "losers" but we've seem the same cookie-cutter article from virtually everyone who covers the team.

Quite frankly, we've had enough.

As fans, we believe that those most deserving of our praise and our scorn are directly involved in the game, whether it's on the ice, in the press box or in the executive corridors. Fans don't pencil in the starting five, make bad trades, or write the headlines of the day and shouldn't be blamed (or praised) for the totals in the wins and loss column.

Hockey may be just a game but it's also a passion. If you're looking for passionate hockey coverage that offers insight and humour and you're sick of being blamed for supporting a team you're passionate about, you have a better option.

It's time to leave the media superstars behind. There's compelling, timely, wide-ranging content waiting just for you online in the Barilkosphere.

Many have found this better way of following the Leafs, but not every Leafs fan has been so lucky. Please send this message to your fellow Leaf fans via e-mail or postings on message boards and let them know that they do have a choice.

We hope you'll join us here in the Barilkosphere and become regular readers and contributors.

• Pension Plan Puppets
• Battle of Ontario
• Big Smoke Sports
• Bitter Leaf Fan
• Cox Bloc
• Die Hard Blue and White
• Down Goes Brown
• He Score, He Shoot!
• Just Your Usual General Borschevsky
• Leafs at Hockey Analysis
• Maple Leafs Hot Stove
• Old Guys in Blue and White
• The Passion That Frustrates Us All
• Repressed Optimism
• Sports and the City
• Toronto Sports Media
• Wonderful World of Loser Domi

29 Years Later

When I was a boy, the Toronto Maple Leafs and McClelland and Stewart (don’t look for them, they’re not there anymore) published a cloth cover book on the upcoming 1979-80 Leafs' season.

I read that book so many times the spine is broken, the pages are frayed and the dust jacket is a nothing but a long-lost memory.

It was published at a time of real optimism for the Leafs. The team was just two years removed from their playoff upset over the New York Islanders and, even though they had gone down four straight to the dreaded Montreal Canadiens in the Quarter Finals, game 3 had gone to double OT and game 4 was lost in OT on a questionable call against Dave “Tiger” Williams.

This was a time when Sittler still wore the C, MacDonald patrolled his wing, an optimistic Ron Wilson started the season on IR and a porn ‘stached Palmateer protected the pipes.

As thoughts turn to this year’s training camp with its new coaches and new rosters, I couldn’t help but be reminded of this book and its in-depth player profiles including expectations for the 79-80 season and a day-by-day précis of the Leafs training camp.

Now, I’m not suggesting this year’s Leaf season will have any resemblance to that horrible one 30 years ago.

First of all, the year ahead for the 2008-09 Leafs certainly isn’t starting off with the same patina of optimism. Secondly, I seriously doubt the Leafs could hit the same low points as that fateful year that saw the MacDonald trade, Sittler ripping off his C and the start of a twelve year run of the team posting a losing record (yeah, you read that right – the Leafs were under .500 for twelve straight seasons: 1979-80 to 1992-93. Keep that in mind when the media wring their hands over the past three years.).

That summer also saw Ballard and Imlach pursue legal action all the way to the Ontario Supreme court in an effort to keep Sittler and Palmateer from participating in Showdown - a televised skills competition between NHL players. (There's a great collection of Showdown videos from the CBC archives here. Man I LOVED this show as a kid.)

With that caveat out of the way and in anticipation of the Leafs training camp to come, I thought I’d go back through one of my favourite childhood books, violate all sorts of copyright laws, scan a few photos, and have a look at some interesting quotes, thoughts and anecdotes from the Leafs 29 years ago this September…

The World From on High: An Interview with Harold Ballard

The book begins with a long, very wide-ranging interview between Time Magazine reporter John Gault and Harold Ballard, including a lengthy discussion between Gault and Ballard on the Neilson firing, re-hiring (the infamous paper bag incident). I promise I’ll post that whole exchange soon.

There are some interesting echoes in this interview - meddling owners, bad trades and the need for better scouting, as captured in the exchange below:

John Gault: Who’s been traded away, in the past five years, say, that you wish you had back?
Harold Ballard: Well, Rick Kehoe for instance, who went to Pittsburgh. Carlyle should have been kept here. And I think that probably Jack Valiquette should have stayed.

Gault: The return on players you’ve sent to other teams hasn’t been that great in the past while, has it?
Ballard: No. We’ve traded away some pretty good hockey players.

Gault: Yes, and it could be argued that you didn’t exactly get your return on your dollars
Ballard: You don’t have to argue about it, it’s a fact.

Gault: Why?
Ballard: I don’t think our scouting system was that good or they wouldn’t have agreed to make those trades. Now you’ve said that I try to run everything. I don’t. When they were going to make a deal, I’d say to [former GM Jim] Gregory ‘Are you sure you’re going to do it?’ You see, they would have gotten rid of Turnbull if I hadn’t asserted myself last year and stopped it. Roger and Gregory wanted to get rid of Turnbull and I wouldn’t allow it. He couldn’t get along with the coach, so the coach wanted to get rid of him. As a matter of fact, Roger was quite adamant about it and I said: ‘Look, if he’s going to go, you’re going to go to.’ It was that bad.

Gault: I doubt that Neilson would have argued that Turnbull wasn’t a good hockey player
Ballard: Well he did. He had these ‘points’ He was a great guy with those replays, those little pictures you know. And he used to pick out all the bad things Turnbull did, but he didn’t pick out many good things...

I love that Ballard seems totally put off by Neilson’s use of video replay, or as he calls it: “those little pictures.”

A Guide to the Opposition

The late Frank Orr, formerly of the Toronto Star, provides an overview of all 20 NHL teams the Leafs would face in 1979-80, including the four new WHA teams that joined the NHL: Edmonton, Quebec, Hartford and Winnipeg.

Here are a few of the highlights:

The Sabres are trying something new with a “coaching staff” approach - Scotty Bowman hired Roger Neilson and Jim Roberts as Assistant Coaches. Don Cherry said of the approach: “Scotty wants assistants so he’ll have someone to blame if something goes wrong.” Bowman’s take: “I agree with the Europeans. They can’t understand why NHL teams have figured one coach could do the job. It’s just too complex for that now.”

1979-80 was the first season for the Oilers and they sold 14,600 season tickets within 11 days of tickets going on sale. Coach Glen Sather says he has his highest hopes for young Swedish forward Bengt Gustavsson [who never played a game for the Oilers, the Capitals claimed him at the expansion draft in June, 1979.]

The Whalers roster included a 51 year old Gordie Howe and coach Don Blackburn says he wants to experiment with moving left-wing Mark Howe (42-23-65 in 1978) back to defence.

The New York Islanders (that season’s Stanley Cup champs) only had one skater over 28 on their roster and their entire core (Trottier, Bossy, Gillies, Potvin, etc.) were under 25.

The Penguins were having attendance problems and were facing red ink.

In the 1970s, free agents were anything but. The Red Wings signed “Free Agent” goaltender Rogie Vachon from the LA Kings and had to compensate the Kings for the signing. The teams couldn’t agree on fair compensation and the Kings asked for, and were awarded, Dale McCourt – the Wings’ leading rookie scorer. McCourt refused to report to LA and the dispute ended up in the US courts. The lower court upheld the original compensation. McCourt and the Wings appealed the decision, but before a second court date was set, the Wings and Kings agreed to an alternate compensation and McCourt was “dealt” back to the Wings.

The Flyers got a first round pick for what has to be the oddest named twosome ever dealt: Orest Kindrachuk and Ross Lonsberry.

Training Camp September, 1979

Leaf veterans arrived in camp with a new coach (Floyd Smith) and a new GM (Punch Imlach) as GM Jim Gregory and Coach Roger Neilson were both fired over the summer.

When Nielson returned to the Gardens as the assistant coach of the Sabres for a pre-season game, the Leafs refused to let him sit in the press box. Imlach said, "If Neilson wants to coach, let him coach from behind the bench. He won't be able to do it from our press box." (You stay classy Imlach!)

Looking to add some grit to the line-up, Imlach offered Jim Dorey a try-out with the Leafs. Ten years earlier, Dorey set an NHL record with nine penalties - four minors, two majors, two 10 minute misconducts and a game misconduct - in just two periods of play. [After being cut by the Leafs, Dorey would go on to play 32 games that year for the Nordiques and then call it a career.]

The Leafs played 12 exhibition games including matches in Moncton, NB; Ottawa, ON, Kitchener, ON; and against the Canadian Olympic team in Calgary (the Leafs lost to the Olympians 6-5, Lanny had a hat-trick. Apparently the Leafs had trouble with the Olympians speed. And no, I didn't just make that up...)

The Leafs played the Habs in game 11 of their pre-season and actually won. It was the first time the Leafs had beaten Montreal in 25 straight meetings. The Leafs hadn't beaten Montreal in an exhibition, regular season or playoff game since November 1, 1976.

Future Washington Capitals coach Bruce Budreau was amongst the Leafs last cuts at camp, getting sent to Moncton on day 17.

Interesting to note that this club would produce at least four NHL coaches in Quennville, Anderson, Boudreau and Ron Wilson (and one cottage-country bar owner in Walt McKechnie).

Money quotes:

"I guess having a new coach always creates a little feeling of unrest because you wonder about the style of hockey he'll want the team to use and how you'll fit into it." - Ron Wilson.

"There are some holes in our team, aren't there?" - Floyd Smith

The Players



Each of the 24 Leafs who made the team out of training camp are profiled at the end of the book. It's the standard 20 questions format - why hockey, what would you be doing if you weren't in the NHL, superstitions, activities away from the rink, personal goals...Here's a look at the highlights:

"I like the hours. It's not a nine to five job. You have the summers off to do what you want and, of course, the money isn't bad." - John Anderson on the Pros and Cons of Sports Celebrity.

"I would have liked to get into a veterinary line of work or work with wildlife" - Dan Maloney on alternate career prospects.

"I never set personal goals for myself; the only goal is the Stanley Cup. When you start setting personal goals you're putting pressure on yourself and that kind of pressure you don't need. When I get my first goal I'll go for number two and so on. You take whatever comes. Winning the Stanley Cup and playing international hockey: that's the ultimate, to play for your country. I've already done one and, hopefully, befoer the end of my career, I'll accomplish the other." - Lanny MacDonald

"Amityville Horror and Penthouse are favourites." - Joel Quennville on what he likes to read.

"Mr. Ballard. Yeah, I'm serious." - Dave "Tiger" Williams on his favourite opponent

"I'll just play until I stop enjoying it. If I don't play a lot this year or next year I may hang up the game because it's no fun sitting on the bench." - Ron Wilson

Something I Learned Today

The world always makes the assumption that the exposure of an error is identical with the discovery of the truth - that error and truth are simply opposite. They are nothing of the sort. What the world turns to, when it has been cured of one error, is usually simply another error, and maybe one worse than the first one. - H.L. Mencken

When it comes to going public with bad news, there are two types of organizations:

1. Those that deal with it in an open and transparent manner – Tylenol is the oft-cited prototype in this camp and, much more recently, Maple Leaf Meats have shown the merit of being open, honest and accountable.
2. Those who leak, bury or misdirect the news in an effort to control the message.

I’d say my beloved Toronto Maple Leafs usually fall into slot #2.

And what are some of the best tactics to get in front of a bad news story?

1. Release it late on the Friday of a long-weekend;
2. Release it when there’s a lot of other bad news in the system; and/or
3. Leak the bad news early and leak it often – by the time the news becomes official or confirmed, most people will have moved through the five stages of grief from anger to acceptance.

When it comes to the Bryan McCabe trade, the Leafs have gone for door number 3 like the RIAA going after a 12 year old with a USB drive full of Jonas Brothers mp3s and the outcome, strangely, seems to be acceptance.

What’s that Smell?

The first time I went to Kamloops I was visiting an old friend who had just gotten engaged.

Kamloops stunk. Figuratively and literally.

The town is essentially a bowl built around a pulp mill. The scent of reduced sulphurs permeates everything.

The first few days I was in town, I kept asking my friend how he could live in a place that, um, stank. I don't mean to be cruel, but everything was tinted with the malodorous combination of cabbage and rotten eggs.

But then a strange thing happened: the smell seemed to go away. I no longer spent my days with a crinkled nose and worried brow wondering how people live among such a paralyzing stink.

Except the smell never went away.

The town still stunk of the by-products of supplying the world with 477,000 tonnes of pulp related products.

I just lost my ability to detect the stench.

Scientists call this phenomena olfactory adaptation or olfactory fatigue. Our nervous systems are programmed to automatically desensitize to certain stimuli so that we are not overloaded. For example, our skin doesn't constantly sense our clothing and our noses eventually get used to the gagging stink of pulp.

By turning down a response to certain or constant stimuli our bodies are better able to recognize and respond to new stimuli/possible threats.

If you've made it this far and are still reading, you may be asking yourself what pulp products, bad odours and olfactory adaptation have to do with the Leafs.

Stick with me here...

In Leaf Land it's not Pulp, it’s the Stench of Failure

I wonder if maybe Leafs Nation is undergoing a massive case of olfactory adaptation.

That we've become so used to the smell in these parts that they don't notice it anymore.

Slam McCabe all you want. Link to the youtube compilation videos of his various gaffes. Mock his haircuts, goofy faces and penchant for taking dumb penalties.

Go ahead and cringe at the burden of his no-movement clause.

But then step back and look at the numbers.

Three out of the last five seasons, McCabe was among the top 10 in scoring by a defenseman; three times he finished in the top three for goals.

Believe it or not, McCabe placed third in Norris trophy voting in 2004 and ninth in 2006.

He cracked the taxi squad for the 2006 Canadian Olympic squad. Bitch and moan all you want that he wasn’t in the top six on that club, but to be on the Canadian Olympic team is to be among some pretty elite company.

Despite all of these accomplishments and accolades, McCabe’s no-movement clause has allegedly so diminished his value that the Leafs had to include a draft pick in order to complete the deal.

Bottom line: the return for a number 2 d-man, power play quarterback, who can log 20+ minutes a night, who has a history of finishing in the top 10 in scoring (and who occasionally scores in the wrong net) is nothing more than a 3-4 d-man who’s recovering from multiple wrist surgeries.

And the Leafs had to throw in a 4th round pick to get the deal done.

As Steve points out in his latest entry, and as I posted earlier this summer, the trade does nothing to solve the Leafs' log-jam on D where they're approaching the season with nine NHL caliber defencemen (10 if you think Schenn might get more than a cup of coffee with the big club).

Anyone that hasn't been living under a rock can tell you that the Leafs don't need more D; they don't need cap flexibility; they don't need to shed more draft picks.

And yet, that's what they get for a top pairing d-man.

The Toronto Maple Leafs: A Rich History of Horrible Asset Management

I cannot believe that I’m going to cite Damien Cox here, but he has a point (ick). The Leafs have moved a pretty big chunk of talent/assets off their roster in the last few years. Consider:

• Belfour
• Domi
• Tucker
• Wellwood
• Rask===>Raycroft (should have been ===>ECHL but for the Avs)
• McCabe

All gone for nothing more than Mike Van Ryn and a series of lingering cap hits.

If shedding all of those players for nothing weren't bad enough, Fletcher has spent even more assets to spackle over the same holes:

• Mayers for a third round pick
• Grabovski for a second round pick
• Schenn for a second and third round pick
• a Fourth round pick to kiss McCabe goodbye

Changing the Culture: Buying High and Selling Low

I understand that management is trying to change the so-called culture of this club.

They gassed the coach (could only talk a good game), waived Wellwood (uncommitted, soft); bought-out Tucker (washed-up, psychopathic) and bought-out Raycroft (glove hand not good enough for mite T-ball).

But I’d argue that the real cultural change is far more urgently needed in the executive corridors of MLSE than in the locker room.

When Fletcher first came back to the Leafs, it was with a real sense of confidence. I loved his candid approach to assessing the team. I loved the moves he made at the trade deadline. I thought PM had to go and Wilson was a pretty solid replacement.

And then things regressed back to the norm. This team has a long twisted tradition of buying high and selling low, a philosophy that, once again, has stained all of Fletcher’s moves this summer.

The Leafs' story remains too many assets out the door with too little to show for it.

And the McCabe trade is just one more deal where the Leafs come out on the losing end.

Fletcher said last Tuesday: "Trying to build a team can't be fast-tracked."

He may be right, but he's demonstrating that it sure can be chronically mismanaged.

Cheering for Laundry

It's my understanding that Stephen Brunt is a Cleveland Browns fan.

Think about this for a minute.

The man that is, arguably, the best sports writer in Canada cheers for a team that won its last Championship in 1964 and hasn’t won its division since 1989.

A 40+ year drought, bad ownership and no short-term success on the horizon.

Sound familiar?

Yet, up to 16 times a year, Brunt cheers on a team that didn’t even exist from 1996 to 1999; a club the NFL actually “deactivated.”

Now, I don’t know if he collects jerseys, if he wears a dog-mask in his living room on Sunday afternoons or if he gets misty at dinner parties when the topic turns to the death of Jim Brown’s character at the end of the Dirty Dozen.

But this is where his heart resides.

While I have no sense of the depth of Brunt’s fanaticism for the Browns, it does lead me to a larger question: Can you extract the team from the ownership and general idiocy that surrounds it? Can you separate the action on the ice, diamond, pitch or field from the suits/idiots in the corridors of power?

Or is fandom more like a marriage – you fall in love with the team, but you marry the whole family?

As a Leaf fan, it’s pretty obvious why this question is of interest to me.

On the Origins of Fandom: Geography, Patricide and Cheap Souvenirs

I likely became a Leaf fan simply because I was born in Toronto. Geography was destiny. Had I been born in my mum’s home town of Kingston, I’d give even odds that I’d have been a Habs fan (as half of my dirt-eating Ottawa valley family seem to be).

Geography aside, I can remember arguing with my Grandfather in his tiny home in Inverary, Ontario about Ian Turnbull (I was for, he was against). It may have been the first time I stood up to an adult. I remember begging my father to buy me a newspaper so I could look at the pictures of the Leafs eliminating the Islanders in ’78. I remember listening to Leafs on the radio as they went up against the mighty Flyers in ’79 and the elation of waking up to find out Mike Palmateer somehow led the team to a tie.

My first inkling that something was rotten with Leafs ownership didn’t come until Lanny MacDonald was traded and Sittler stripped off the C. I was eight, maybe nine, years old. I still had hope. Clearly I didn’t know any better.

Sometime around 1980-'81 my father came home from a business trip to St. Louis and gave me a Cardinals batting practice jersey. This simple off-white cotton-poly blend with three-quarter length red sleeves has led to nearly three decades of supporting a National League team some 1,200 kilometers away.

My pops liked Joe Theismann because of his days with the Argos (Joe’s, not my Dad’s). When Theismann went to the Washington Redskins, the New York Giants became my team. There’s nothing quite like being a contrarian 12 year old l'il bastard who picks a team simply to cheer against one's father.

A Poll of Sorts

I’d like to know why you cheer for your favourite team.

Was it the smell of the grass in the old Tiger Stadium? A trip to Buffalo to see the Bills back in the days of Kelly, Thomas and Reed? An especially delicious hot fudge sundae from Dairy Queen served in a Mariners cap? Or maybe it was just to spite a certain someone who insisted on cheering for the Yankees, Cowboys, Lakers or Habs?

Please post a comment and tell your story.

I think it's time we shared these stories as a rejoinder to those who question why people cheer for a team with history of failure and mismanagement.

I think it's time for the media to stop and reflect before they call fans stupid for supporting teams with venal owners or teams that don't appear to have a championship on even the most distant horizon.

I'm guessing (and sort of hoping) that the lesson from all of these personal stories is that no fan ever fell in love with a team, player or sport because of an ownership structure, player development policies, salary cap discipline or management style.

We'll see...

Fire Maurice

Who thinks it's a good idea to double shift Tucker and Blake in the final 3 minutes and put them back out on the ice with less than a minute to go?

Anybody?

Can I get a show of hands?

Seriously.

My mother-in-law knows better than to throw that mess of a line out late in a game and she thinks the Kansas City Scouts or maybe the Golden Seals are the teams to beat this year.

Off the top of my head, this line combination has now given-up last minute game losing goals against New Jersy, Boston, and Tampa.

I'm speechless.

CBC Interview

CBC News at Six swung by my house tonight (February 6, 2008) to interview me about the Leaf's season and what it's like to be a fan after that 8-0 debacle at the ACC.

I have zero recall of what I was asked or what I actually said (my kids were watching Dora in the background and actually yelled out "Swiper!" during the interview, likely when I was at my most insightful).

I'm sure my seven seconds of air time on the evening news will be as thrilling and rewarding as last night's Leaf game.

The Real Deal About the Three

Talk about mis-reading an in-game promo.

The Leafs gave up 8 goals to the Panthers tonight and, looking at the way the Leafs played, I can only conclude most of them left the ice thinking they had 1 in 3 odds of winning a flat panel TV.

By the Numbers

About three weeks ago, a University of Alberta business professor calculated the Leafs had a 3% chance of making the post-season. His computer model runs possible outcomes for each team for every game remaining 500 times. The Leafs qualified in just 14 of the 500 simulations. The Leafs have gone 1-2-1 since the prof revealed his numbers. I'm no math whiz, but I'm thinking 3% is higher than Kevin Stevens in a Collinsville Travelodge with a crack pipe and a hooker.

The Leafs are four points up on LA for dead last in the NHL first place in the Stamkos sweepstakes. Tied with Chicago at 51 and up two on Tampa who have 49 points.

Raycroft went into tonight's game with an .874 save percentage, good for 68th in the NHL. Tonight, Rayzor managed to stop 7 of 11 shots, dropping his save percentage to a sizzling .868. Oustanding stuff from the future waiver wire casualty, but it's still not quite enough for him to catch LA's Bernier, who's in the much coveted 69 spot.

The Missing Years

Like pucks lazily drifting past Andrew Raycroft, the reasons for JFJ to be fired are almost too many to count.

The surprise isn't that JFJ’s teams will set a Leaf record for futility by missing the playoffs for three straight years.

The surprise isn’t that a team tagged by its coach as his most talented ever and positioned for a Stanley Cup run is mired in 27^th and on the cusp of a lottery pick.

The surprise isn’t that JFJ took a 100 point franchise and turned it into a soft, underperforming team, handcuffed it with long-term contracts, maxed out the cap and then stripped of its few assets for spare parts.

The surprise is that despite of all this, JFJ lasted as long as he did.

The man was the GM of my favourite team for five years. For half a decade, I watched him run a franchise I’ve followed all of my life and I still don’t have a clue what he was trying to do.

He arrived heralding the stockpiling of picks, but in five years, he traded the teams’ top pick three times and the second pick twice.

He spoke about a new era in developing talent, yet his top pick is playing four minutes a night in the NHL instead of getting big minutes in the minors.

I know that he liked to roll the dice. JFJ habitually sought to acquire high-risk high-reward players like Lindros, Allison, Raycroft, and O’Neill. And in every single case, the risk won. Under JFJ there was never a reward in Leaf land.

For every good contract he signed – Kaberle, Antropov, Poni, Sundin – he signed a bad one: Belfour, Domi, Blake, Kubina, McCabe, Tucker.

People claim his true talent was an eye for waiver wire pick-ups, landing Devereaux, Kilger and Moore. But for every fourth line surprise, there was a fourth line bust: Czerkawski, Pohl, Battaglia, Newbury, Suglabov.

Want to measure his supposed ability to assess talent? Count the number of JFJ acquisitions who can no longer find work in the NHL: Allison, Battaglia, Belfour, Berg, Czerkawski, Green, Khavanov, Lindros, O’Neill, and Slugablov.

I dare anyone to find a comparable list of post-lockout busts signed by a single GM.

In the end, he may be a great guy, a wonderful father and husband. He may have been classy when he knew his time had come, but he set the team I love back years. His incompetence or inability to stand up to the board (or some deadly combination of both) has handcuffed this club for years to come. And for that, I am glad that he’s gone.

He left with the media remarking on his class and his ability to keep his head up. His image ironically buffed by the same mouth breathers and one-fingered typists who called for his head and spent the last month in a daily vigil outside the MLSE boardroom door waiting for the blue and white smoke signaling a new Pope Leafs GM.

JFJ often said he was a reflection of his record, and that’s likely the only spot that he and I will ever agree. If ever there was a truly .500 GM – a man that won as often as he lost – JFJ is it.

Ten Things I was thinking about...

...while the game was on (man the Bruins are a boring club).

10. Is there an easier punch line in Canadian sports media than the very tired, “plan the parade” that gets thrown around whenever the Leafs win a game? I know there’s a writer’s strike but can Mike Toth and and the brainless minions that fill my screen each night come up with something new. Please.

9. A.J. Liebling called it "‘on the other hand’ journalism" - that rare ability to sit on the fence or find fault with all courses of action. I think Damien Cox might be the true master of this school of thought. If the Leafs ever win the Cup and the series goes seven, half of this town’s media will file ledes about how the Leafs should have won it in five.

8. What are the odds that someone can write an article or a column about the Leafs without dropping 1967 or “40 years”. Seriously. We get it. It's been a loooooonnnnnngggggggg time.

7. Speaking of dry spells, the Leafs are hardly alone (not that this excuses any incompetence at MLSE) but here are some other clubs that are similar territory, look for these team names to be included alongside 1967 to provide some balance/context:

35+ Years Without a Cup
Buffalo Sabres
Boston Bruins
Chicago Blackhawks
Los Angeles Kings
St. Louis Blues
Vancouver Canucks
Washington Capitals

Soon to be in the 35+ Years club
Philadelphia (33 years and counting...)

20+ Years
New York Islanders
Winnipeg/Phoenix

15+ Years
Calgary
Edmonton
Montreal
Ottawa
Pittsburgh
San Jose

6. Think back to last February/March when the Leafs were in the final stretch battling for a final playoff spot. At that time, the Leafs said they were approaching those end of season games as though it were the playoffs. They then went on to play .500 hockey, putting up stinkers against Washington, the Islanders and others (well done boys!). Well, it may be a few months early, but that same metaphor has been yanked out by the club yet again. Here's my question: if the Leafs lose four out of seven will they be eliminated from the regular season?

5. Does it really take death to engineer a change at the top for the Leafs? First Ballard, then Stavro...does anyone know how old Peddie is? How’s his cholesterol? Is he in good health?

4. Did you know that Leaf fans are in charge of programming down at the CBC? It’s true. Every year, 26 members of Leafs nation are chosen in a secret ceremony on Mutual Street and each one is given the responsibility to program a single 7:30 Saturday night game for Hockey Night in Canada. It’s funny, you’d think national programming decisions would have to do with ratings and market size - Toronto is the fifth largest media market in North America after all and the Leafs are a wildly popular team - but you’d be wrong. We members of Leaf nation get to pick what all Canadian viewers have to watch on Saturday nights. Our fellow Canadians cannot turn away, they cannot seek programming elsewhere and they must complain to me about it because I’m a Leafs fan…this is how things work. We must not stop and think about it nor question it. It just is.

3. Do people really believe that Leafs Nation is a monoculture? Can a fan base this large, every single mouth-breathing one of us, all believe the exact same thing: the Leafs are going to win the Cup each and every year. Look, the only trait Leaf fans all share is delusion – (we do cheer for the Leafs after all), but we’re not all optimists, we’re not all incapable of holding down the shift-key when we’re pounding out exclamation marks (Leafs are gonna win the cup, baby!!!!!!!1), very few of us want the Leafs to turn things around this year, yet the media sure would have you believe we’re all of one voice and of one mind (and a rather damaged/limited mind at that).

2. For those of you who think boycotting the Leafs will solve everything. Sure it will. Now please put down your petition, while I walk away slowly.

1. As much as I want the Leafs to have a top 3 pick at the 2008 draft, I find it very hard to cheer against the Blue and White. I was (unexpectedly) thrilled when Steen potted the winner tonight against the Bruins (although if MLSE thinks this makes the team buyers at the deadline, I will seriously circulate a petition and call for a boycott on all Leafs goods).

Oh, that plan

Buried in a story from Dave Perkins in today's Toronto Star (16/01/08) is this little piece o' news from JFJ:

"The worst thing we did was finish a point out of the playoffs last year and get the 13th draft choice. The year before we missed by two points and got the 13th pick, which we traded away,'' said Ferguson, clearly indicating that a team gone deep in the tank can at least take solace in eventually landing a top draft choice.

"That wouldn't be the worst thing in the world,'' he said of a quality pick, adding that a plan to sacrifice present for future as a method of rebuilding was proposed a couple of years ago – presumably to the same Maple Leaf Sports and Entertainment board of directors now said to be shopping his job around.

"That plan was not approved."

My first reaction to this news: at least he tried, I can't believe the deadly combination of stupidity and greed of the MLSE board.

My second reaction (about 15 seconds later): Why isn't that a direct quote from JFJ? It's contained between quotes, but Perkins doesn't have JFJ actually utter those words...

My third reaction (about 0.5 seconds later): Man, JFJ has failed at pretty much everything he's tried to do during his tenure. He has my sympathy for not being able to get a re-build plan approved by the Board (in his defence, maybe a tag-team of Lamoriello and Burke couldn't get such a plan past Peddie and his minions); however, he still blew it when he was charged with putting a competitive team on the ice to try to win now.

I don't mean to kick a guy when he's down (and I've said repeatedly that JFJ deserved to either be fired or extended - none of this no man's land nonsense that MLSE has engaged in) but when you think about the pressures put on him by the MLSE board, stop to consider JFJ's response. Count the number of players he's signed to play for the Blue and White that are no longer in the NHL: Berg, Khavanov, Domi, Green, Belfour, Lindros, Aubin, Allison, O'Neill...soon to be joined by Raycroft and likely Wozniewski too. That's just off the top of my head and it has to be the most by any GM in the league. Factor in the bizarre-o world trade for Yanic Perrault (how's that 32nd overall pick looking for 15 games of an injured 4th line centre looking now?) and you've got one lousy record of work.

This was JFJ's response to a win now mandate?

It's clear to me that despite the Board not supporting his plan, despite the fact that he may be a great guy, despite the fact that he's being needlessly humiliated and generally mistreated by MLSE - JFJ is still an incompetent GM, he made this mess and he needs to go.

The bigger question (the biggest question really) is: can Peddie/the MLSE Board be contained or will it be more of the same misguided direction and meddling no matter who gets hired to run this club?

I haven't been posting much as there's really not much to post about with this club. I was at the Monday night loss to the Caps and the team was laughably bad. Horrible.

It should come as no surprise that this year's team stinks as it's pretty much same team that stunk it up last year.

Last year's team couldn't kill penalties, couldn't stay out of the penalty box, couldn't protect a lead and was 25th in goals against.*

Shockingly, the same group of players, coached by the same group of coaches, is still struggling on the PK, still taking way too many penalties, protects a lead like it's a live hand grenade and has a goals against more bloated than Jerry Lewis strung out on prednisone.

Who could have guessed?

But that's not the worst part. The part that's genuinely disturbing is that the vast majority of this team is under contract for next year too.

That's right. If you like this year's club and it's sub .500 record, you'll really love next year's team.

Of the 28 players that have dressed for the Leafs this season, JFJ has signed 24 to contracts that run until at least next year (including team-option RFAs).

Want to know something scary?

Sundin, arguably the Leafs' best, if not second best, player this season is not one of those 24.

Want to know something even scarier?

Six of the seven Leafs D are all under contract for next year too. Only Wozniewski (which I do believe is one of those German or Polish compound words that means "turnover leading to a minus") is not under contract for next season.

Master plan indeed.

*Anyone who thinks injuries were the big difference last year, Woz was nearly 20% of the Leafs' injuries total. I also refer you to the last dozen games of the season when the club had a full and healthy line-up. That group choked against the Isles and Caps, coughed up "safe" leads against the Sabres and Thrashers and was destroyed by the Rangers in a must-win game.

Grab that cash with both hands and make a stash

There's a slew of interesting, complimentary stories that have run in the Star the past few days on the state of the MLSE's profits (in a word: massive); their approach to scouting (in two words: horrifically cheap) and the wallets of the fan base (in three words: open for business)

In another must read, Ninja at Raking Leafs has pretty much covered off the key points and said everything that I was thinking.

Finding out that MLSE has a lifestyle that combines the best of Montgomery Burns and Ranier Wolfcastle is about as surprising as finding out another b-list celebrity "forgot" to wear gitch whilst getting out of her car.

That said, it's very disheartening that even a tiny slice of those profits aren't being redirected off-ice to make the Leafs better. The one advantage the Leafs still possess in a cap environment is the ability to outspend their rivals in off-ice activities such as scouting and player development. As a fan, I always hoped this was so - that this team was doing everything possible and was seeking out every competitive advantage to win. I suppose had I stepped back and looked at this club's history of drafting and developing players or had anyone (hello media?) just asked a few tough questions I would have known better...

In on-ice news, the Leafs beat the Rags 4-1 and Antropov just continues to pile on the points.

After this two-game trip, I'm looking for creative ways to keep the Leafs from playing the ACC again this season...

Gonna Get Your Mind Right

Cool Hand Luke is one of my all time favourite movies. In fact, I wear #37 on my hockey jersey as it's Paul Newman's number in the chain gang.

That movie has taught me a lot of life lessons: while it may be possible for a man to eat 50 hardboiled eggs, you're better off if you're not that guy; one of the most important things to know is your own mind; the Flaming Lips can pretty much cover any song and it will be cool; it's not a good idea to box with a guy the size of George Kennedy and, most importantly, you can pretty much break any person's spirit by making them repeatedly dig and then re-fill a grave-sized hole in the hot southern sun, especially when their only reprieve is a night spent in "the box" (a closet sized, outdoor, solitary confinement unit).

I bring this up because I think the whole night in the box and repetitive hole digging will be my new answer to the question, "What the $%@!# can be done with the Leafs?"

Seriously.

Consider...

The next time Kubina chases his man on the PK up to the blue line, he'll spend a night in the box.

The next time Hal Gill thinks it's a good idea to lead the rush, it's a night in the box.

Raycroft even thinks about going down early - that's right - it's a night in the box.

In addition to helping my beloved Blue and White "get their mind right" (as the Captain in Cool Hand Luke so wonderfully puts it) repeatedly digging and re-filling a hole would make for great post-game visuals.

Need to know who's in the doghouse? Just look for the guy with a haunted look heading out to the ACC parking lot holding a shovel.

Think the Sens look goofy doing post-games on stationary bikes? Wait until you see the Woz, night after night, waist deep in the ground, surrounded by soil down on Bremner Boulevard.

So what if the players and their union don't like it - the NHLPA is such a mess that now is the time to strike...a few weeks of hole digging and sleeping outside and this team will be playing at least .510 hockey.

=+=+=+=+=+=

On Atlanta's fourth goal it was so nice to see Hal Gill try to lead the rush. Not sure what part of keeping the game simple and concentrating on defence-first that falls under, but those big juicy brains down at MLSE sure have some interesting ideas. Now that's some coachin'

It was also heartwarming that Jason Blake watched the play and then turned away from his check on that goal. Sometimes players take a while to fit in with their new organization, to change cultures and to really show that they are part of their new team. But that piece of lazy backchecking coupled with a missed assignment is all I need to see to know that Jason is now officially and firmly a part of the Blue and White. Welcome Jason!

On the good news front - is Antropov the biggest surprise of this NHL season? I got him late in my pool for just $0.30 and it's making me look like a genius.

How Low Can You Go?

Nice to see this organization adapt and learn from past mistakes.

Last year, the team blew a lead late in Buffalo and it was clear the coach should have called a time-out. This season, the team blows it again in Buffalo and the coach doesn't call a time out.

I wonder if it will be as refreshing as it was last year when Maurice steps up with his media Mea Culpa later this week.

==========

I once played on a baseball team that was so bad that the catcher was not allowed to throw the ball back to the pitcher. After every pitch (that wasn’t knocked into the outfield or bounced off some poor batter’s ass) the pitcher would walk towards home and the catcher would walk towards the mound, they’d meet half-way, exchange the ball and repeat until the 9th batter came up each inning or the down-by-11-runs mercy rule came into effect.

When there was a guy on third base that was a threat to steal home, the catcher would sit on home plate with the ball in his glove until the ump would get so fed up he'd forbid the kid on third from stealing home just so the game could resume.

Oh, and the team was sponsored by a discount cigar store.

Sadly, I’m not making this up.

This is the anecdote that came to mind after tonight’s game in Buffalo (that and maybe, just maybe, if the Leafs can recruit a hotshot motorcycle riding tough guy played by a young Jackie Earle Haley, they might have a shot at turning this young season around…)

Is there a hockey equivalent to sitting on home plate and only walking the ball back to the pitcher? Well, if ever there was a team in need of such a defensive stratagem it’s the 1974 Washington Capitals who gave up 446 goals Leafs.

The Leafs have coughed up 29 goals against in just seven games and a whopping 11 goals in the third period (good for 29th in the league).

Now, I hear you - in fairness to the Leafs, they have already played dressed for seven games this year, so the totals are a bit high - it would be more accurate to look at goals against average, so let's re-do the math.

The Leafs have given up 4.14 goals per game - good for 28th overall in the NHL (see, by averaging it out we made it much better - to 28th from 29th).

What about if we look at the Leafs on a per-period average? Well, it’s…um, it’s still pretty frickin glum:
1 period GAA 1.00 (23rd)
2 period GAA 1.14 (19th)
3 period GAA 1.57 (25th)

If that wasn't bad enough, the Penguins are 27th in GAA and they're giving up half a goal less than the Leafs each game. You know it’s not a good sign when you’re looking to Michel Therien for defensive coaching insights...

What if Muckler says No?

The Leafs are looking for a senior hockey executive to mentor JFJ. It seems after four years of being the GM of a storied franchise in one of hockey's biggest markets, poor JFJ is apparently "still learning" and in need of some senior counsel.

What did the best and brightest have to say so far?

Scotty Bowman - Nope.

Bobby Clarke - Uh uh.

Brian Burke - Forget it.

David Poile - "no thanks"

How many other senior hockey guys have heard from Mr. Peddie and the gang and turned this "opportunity" down?

More importantly - what if Muckler says no?

Think about the roster of hockey talent that will have declined to have anything to do with this allegedly storied franchise.

If Muckler says no, does MLSE figures out that adding another layer to the hockey department isn't the best way forward?

If Muckler says no, does it sink in that publicly emasculating your GM might not be the best way to attract top talent?

If Muckler says no, what does this mean for the divided board and the short-term prospects for JFJ?

And ultimately, if Muckler says no, what does that say for Peddie's ability to leverage and sell the one thing that is most central to the MLSE brand - the Toronto Maple Leafs - to actual hockey men?

I don't know about the rest of Leafs Nation, but here's to hoping Muckler says no.

Mucking Things Up

Apparently Muckler is coming to town for a job interview with Richard Peddie. (What, Thomas Chandler Haliburton isn't available? How about Red Berenson, Jack Butterfield or Milt Schmidt?)

It's like Monty Burns interviewing Grandpa Simpson to be a senior consultant with the Springfield Isotopes (Go 'Topes!).

I guess it's too much to hope that Muckler is in town because he wants to get into the condo business...

Still, it will be entertaining when Peddie asks Muckler about his first job in the NHL (which I believe was with the Detroit Cougars back in 1927). Muckler can talk about how he showed up for work wearing an onion on his belt, which was the style at the time.

Mucks can also provide first-hand insight on how rule changes have affected the game: moving to a round puck, permitting the forward pass and the introduction of the controversial "rover" position.

How much would you pay for a transcript of their interview? Seriously.

Given his great track record in HR (hiring both Babcock and Ferguson) and my unrequited love of the Leafs, it's difficult to articulate how I feel about Peddie leading this process.

But, when I take a step back, I can only think of how great it's going to be when Peddie announces his next big hire - the guy that will help guide my beloved blue and white for the next two years - is none other than the actor that played "Albert" in that infamous Canadian Tire Commercial 20 some odd years ago.

I can hear the chants now...