It's autumn and my camoflauge is dying

Our Christmas tree went up on Sunday. It being only November 30th, I'm sure we broke some sort of seasonal protocol that will result in my sweeping up roughly 16 pounds of pine needles over the next four weeks and having a brown, skeletal tree by Boxing Day.

My Leafs ornament (a gift from my parents circa 1983) usually gets pride of place front and centre in the tree, but somehow this year it lost the prime tree real estate to more child-focused decorations.




My boy is three and has a little too much in common with Jarko Rutu. He delights in picking fights with my daughter yet runs away at the first sign of physical conflict, he whines a lot and he has a terrible habit of smiling and making faces after he's done something especially egregious. As long as Santa brings something with wheels, it will be a fine Christmas for him.

My daughter is five and can't decide on what she wants from Santa. In a somewhat refreshing approach, instead of asking for anything and everything, she's trying to focus in on the single, perfect gift. This year, she's also shown a real awareness and interest in gifts for others (a first) and she's been asking my wife and I what we want for Christmas.

Traditionally, Christmas gifts from the kids have been firmly entrenched in the paste, glitter and construction paper industries. And even though I've become completely addicted to the Toronto Public Library (I currently have five books out and 15 on order) there's something rewarding about finding a good book under the tree on the 25th, retreating to a quiet spot and disappearing into a great read.

With that love of books in mind and with just 23 days until Christmas (and 20 until Hanukkah) I thought I'd assemble a list of 13 (15 really, but who's counting) of my favourite sports related books that you can either pick up for the sports fan in your life or put on your own gift list...

13. Offside: The Battle for Control of Maple Leafs Gardens - Theresa Tedesco

Not to keep bringing up the Leafs' ugly past, but this is the quintessential book for understanding the mess that was the late 80s, early 90s Leafs and the seeds for what would become MLSE.

Financial Post reporter Tedesco wrote this illuminating book about the ugliness that emerged after Ballard's death and the financial fight for the Leafs that followed. There's a heavy emphasis here on accounting, law and the sports business side of things, but there's just enough good stuff to give anyone who reads it more reason to question what might have been had Stavro not stood in Fletcher's way (like Gretzky playing for the Leafs for instance).

Check availability here.

12. Fantasyland - Sam Walker

Like sports? Do you participate in fantasy drafts? Ever wonder what would happen if you took a year off your job just to manage your fantasy sports team? Maybe take your wife on holidays to catch a little winter ball down in the Dominican. How about a set of media credentials that gave you full access to the atheletes you drafted and the coaches who actually manage them? And to top it off, why not hire hiring a NASA scientist to crunch your stats for you and build predictive models.

If you think this sounds good, Sam Walker's Fantasyland is for you - a very fun read by a Wall Street Journal sports reporter who did all of that and more as part of Tout Wars, a baseball pool just for sports analysts and sports writers.

Check for availability here.

11.Great Hockey Masks and The Art of the Hockey Mask - Michael Cutler

This one is a bit unfair as I don't own either of these and I have been on the lookout for them for years. Each thin (16 to 22 pages) book offers a series of beautiful, simple, four colour plates of the goalie masks of the late 70s and early 80s. This book was on near permanent loan from my grade school library and I spent hours (maybe days, weeks and months) tracing these masks and colouring them in or coming up with my own designs. Just getting lost in the basic, paper-cut painting style.

I can only presume the publisher (Tundra) did very small print runs as these often retail for $60 to $100+ a copy and it's next to impossible to find scans or even images from these books on-line. Even the Toronto Public Library only has a single copy in their reference collection.

If ever a book needs to be re-published, this is the one. If you know anyone with a fascination for goalie masks, especially if they were born in the late 60s/early 70s this book would be an awesome addition under the tree (and if anyone owns a copy, please email me!)

Check for availability (good luck with that) here.

10. Lights Went Out / Future Greats - Gare Joyce

Future Greats and Heartbreaks is the type of book I wish was written every year, a detailed look at the NHL draft class and the execs who will them.

In part one, Joyce gets to sit in on meetings with the Columbus Blue Jackets scouts and team management, including taking part in prospect interviews, the player combine, and is privy to the official team draft list for the 2006 draft.

Part two features detailed game-by-game notes from junior games and tournaments around the world as Joyce moves through the world of scouting.

Part three tracks the actual draft and many of the players who Joyce has met, interviewed and followed on the ice are chosen by NHL teams. Had this been published a year or two earlier, no one would have been scratching their heads as Esposito fell through the rankings like a stone down a well.

As the Leafs continue with their re-build this is an excellent and very timely read for all those Leaf fans who are dreaming of a lottery pick this summer.

Joyce's When the Lights Went Out is the story of the punch-up in Piestany at the 1987 World Junior Championships. A really fascinating look at the boys who made up that club, the conditions that led to the brawl and the strange fallout that followed. Treated horribly by Hockey Canada in the aftermath of the fight, the team found unlikely support from Harold Ballard. Several of the Canadians interviewed in the book admit to never knowing the names of the Russians they fought - many of whom would go on to be their teammates in the NHL. The comments about Pierre Turgeon in the epilogue (some of the most scathing and insulting quotes I've ever read) are well worth tracking this book down for.

Future Greats can be found here and When the Lights Went Out can be found here.

9. Ball Four - Jim Bouton

The famous tell-all diary from Bouton's 1969 season with the Seattle Pilots and the Houston Astros. The only sports book to make the New York Public Library's Best Books of the 21st Century, Bouton was black balled from baseball for writing this book (want to know about your favourite New York Yankee's voyeurism habits? Pick up a copy).

Prime reading for anyone who wants an up close look at the inner life of professional athletes. Bull Durham, one of my favourite movies, owes a big debt to this book. Great stuff from the man that also brought us Big League Chew.

Check availability here.

8. Sittler - Darryl Sittler

Published in 1991, this book came out before the Leafs began to restore the team, the brand and the franchise's relationship with its alumni. It's a shocking look at just how badly Harold Ballard ran the team and how badly Leaf players were treated.

The amazing thing, and a testament to Sittler's character, is how unaffected he seems by this. Clearly, he's longing for the Leafs to recognize his contributions and for the organization to treat him the way that the Flyers do (when he was inducted into the Hall of Fame, the Flyers send gifts; no reps from the Leafs bother to attend, even though the ceremony takes place just three subway stops from Maple Leafs Garden) but he's not embittered.

The book offers a very candid look at Sittler's relationships with former Leafs Lanny MacDonald, Roger Neilson, Harold Ballard, Jim Gregory and Punch Imlach. It's an enlightening read - especially for fans who might be too young to remember just how bad things once were. Here's Sittler describing an incident in 1974 when he tried to confirm if his contract included a no-trade clause:

We moved the conversation across the hall to Harold Ballard's office where The Boss was sitting behind his desk.
"What's wrong?" he growled. Ballard always anticipated the "best case" scenario.
I spoke up. "I thought I had a no-trade contract, I believe I do, and Jim Gregory is telling me I don't."
"Whattayamean a no-trade contract," he boomed. "Dontcha have any confidence in your own ability?"
"I've got all the confidence in the world in my own abilities Harold. But if the Boston Bruins offered Bobby Orr and Phil Esposito for me, I'm sure you'd make the deal."
He wasn't going to be mollified by common sense, and you could almost see the delicious thoughts of Orr and Esposito in blue and white scrolling across his forehead, like the electronic newsboards they have outside buildings to bring the latest news bulletins to passerby. Those thougths danced right out, exit stage left, when he had an agonizing thought of what he might have to pay these guys.
Harold was nothing if he wasn't practical. He turned back to me.
"Ya might think I'm whistling Dixie here, but it would take both of those guys to move you outta here."
"Yeah, you're right," I countered.
"I know," he smiled.
"I do think you're whistling Dixie."
His face changed for a second or two, the look of a kid with cookie jar right up to the elbow. Figuring quite rightly that I didn't mean too much disrespect, and not anxious to have a blow-up in his office over the issue, he got up and came around the desk.
Harold put one arm around my shoulder. Buddy to buddy. Blood brothers who share the same uniform. Together forever.
"Brian, we wouldn't trade you for love or money."
He thought I was Spinner Spencer.
Jim Gregory, always quick on his feet, jumped right in to rescue The Boss.
"Harold, it's Darryl!"

Check availability here

7. Tropic of Hockey - Dave Bidini

A travelog of sorts with Bidini going around the world to play hockey with the locals and get a better understanding of how various nations and cultures have adopted and adapted hockey. From northern China to a shopping mall in Hong Kong; from Israel and Dubai to the Czech Republic, it's fascinating to see how unifying the game of hockey can be (and how cheap stickwork can be found in the game no matter where or when you play it).

Check availability here.

6. The Rocket, the Flower, the Hammer and Me - Doug Beardsley (editor)

A long out of print collection of some great hockey writing from Paul Quarrington, W.P. Kinsella, Morley Callaghan, Hugh Maclennan, and others. This is the book Wendel Clark was reading in that late 80s literacy commercial so you know it has to be good...

Check availability here.

5. The Last Season - Roy MacGregor

While I'm not a regular reader of MacGregor's reportage or columns, I have to say this is a damn fine novel.

The story of Felix Batterinksi, a rural kid of Polish heritage from Northern Ontario, it tracks his time from junior through to his ascendancy playing for the cup as a goon with Shero's Broad Street Bullies of the 70s and his eventual decline that finds him playing out the string as a player-coach in Finland.

The material on Batterinksi's junior days and early coaches has stayed with me some 15 years after first reading the book. I'm glad to see it was picked up and re-published by Penguin as it really deserves an audience.

I looked up, startled by the accent. He was so clearly a Canadian sportswriter that he could have formed the mould: thick glasses over nervous eyes, balding, a too-eager-to-please smile, cheap clothes in need of a press and coordination, the kind of body that should say nothing but goes on forever about jogging and tennis and all those other bullshit words they invent to replace ability. The body of true athlete speaks for itself. When a true athlete says "tennis", he means the same thing as if he'd used the word "beer"- something social rather than beneficial.

Check The Last Season's availability here.

4. America's Game - Michael MacCambridge

I briefly wrote a blurb about this great book about six weeks ago. It's one of the best, if not the best book I've read on the marriage of business, marketing and sports.

Following the NFL from it's pre-war days through to the modern era, the bulk of the book emphasizes the innovations that Pete Rozelle brought to the game which are legion. From creating consistent logos, to licensing just about every product; from the creation of NFL films to the way the media were wined and dined, this book shows how the NFL has really set, and continually raised, the bar compared to the other professional sports leagues.

Even if you're not a football fan (I'm a casual one at best) there are so many amazing factoids in here that it will provide you with near endless cocktail party chatter for the holiday season.

Check availability here.

3. Moneyball - Michael Lewis

A fantastic look at finding efficiencies and value in any system, in this case Major League Baseball. Even though it's a baseball book, there is much to consider here, especailly as the Leafs attempt to re-tool under Brian Burke.

(Full disclosure: I am a total Michael Lewis fan-boy and would gladly read the phone book if he wrote it. Other great magazine pieces by Lewis include his defense of Moneyball in Sports Illustrated; an interesting piece on coaching innovations in college football; an amazing piece on Hurricane Katrina; and a stunning bit on the recent economic meltdown.)

Check availability here.

2. Salvage King, Ya - Mark Anthony Jarman

How this book isn't the epicentre of a Canada-reads debate every year is beyond me. Seriously. This is the book our nation should be reading (instead the debate will be between a short novel centering on a 1950s divorcee in small town Ontario wrestling with her families infidelities and a coming of age story set on the prairies of the 30s).

The story of a marginal defenceman at the end of his career, sliding between the A and the NHL. His former agent has embezzled most of his money, he's divorced, newly engaged and having an affair with a waitress. There is a kineticism and depth to Jarman's writing that has brought me back to it time and time again.

Laced with fantastic pop culture references and seeded with tiny perfectly crafted anecodtes featuring the likes of Messier, Chris Nilan, Gretzky, like this one:

Upstairs I knock on the hotel door and Normie Ullman answers naked. He's still in good shape, but I don't really care to see Normie Ullman naked. Normie also played for the old WHA Oilers. Curly is after puck bunnies and Dino is chasing anything. Yvan Cournoyer is tanned and grinning and chasing anything. No wonder they call him the Roadrunner. Maybe he's cashing his cheque from that big Zellers ad we did. They're fighting with fire extinguishers. Their ex-model wives are thousands of miles to the east. There are days it seems that all hockey men are pervs or nuts or stickmen. I'm sure several are normal but there's not a lot of evidence. You're away from home a lot, in decent shape, and for a brief while you possess money and youth. You try to rid yourself of both.

This may not be for those who like conventional story telling as the story is not chronological - it's really just a fragmented series of anecdotes, only one character has a proper first name, and there are big portions that take place far from the rink, but for my money this may be the greatest hockey novel ever written.

When I lay stunned and stunted in her old fashioned bed, the fingers of my hand unwrapping from the iron rail (the pail ceilings of post-sex, and her art, terrifying Inuit prints on her walls), when I saw manic Waitress X placing a long slip or soft bra on her cinnamon skin, when I saw her distracted at her dresser, readying her public self for the late afternoon tables of businessmen, for the glum screaming oilmen seeking attitude adjustment, well I confess I desired thing to stop at that stage -- not nude and not dressed, on the cusp, the edge, the two of us with tons of time and no particular place to go.

If only Jarman had a blog.

Check Salvage King, Ya availability here.

1. The Game - Ken Dryden
I would argue that this is the single greatest book ever written about hockey and is a must read for all hockey fans. When I pulled out my 1983 paperback edition (Totem press?) to write up this little blurb, I ended up spending an hour or so re-reading the book. Totally engrossed by the locker room banter, most of my morning dissolved away.

Following Dryden through the 1979 season, the book goes way beyond a simple year-in-the-life of a player format, providing substantial insights into the game, the men he played with, the demands of professional sport and the life of a professional athlete.

One of the things I love about this book, and the thing that brings me back time and time again, is the remarkable job Dryden has done in capturing the camaraderie and humour amongst the players.

Here's Dryden at the end of the book, his final Cup won, contemplating what it might mean to retire:

A few years ago, I called Dickie Moore to arrange an interview for a friend. Moore had been a fine player for the Canadiens in the 1950s, and after retiring with knee injuries (later, he returned briefly with the Leafs and Blues), had built a successful equipment rental company in Montreal. It happened that I called on the first anniversary of his son's death in a car accident. It had been a tough day was all Moore said. More for me than for him, he changed the subject. He asked me how I was, how the team was doing; then he turned reflective. He spoke of "the game." Sometimes excitedly, sometimes with longing, but always it was "the game." Not a game of his time, or mine, something he knew we shared. It sounded almost spell-like the way he put it. I had always thought of it as a phrase interchangeable with "hockey," "baseball," or any sport. But when Moore said it, I knew it wasn't. "The game" was different, something that belongs only to those who play it, a code, a phrase that anyone who has played a sport, any sport, understands. It's a common heritage of parents and backyayrds, teammates, friends, winning, losing, dressing rooms, road trips, coaches, fans, money, celebrity - a life, so long as you live it. Now as I sit here, slouched back, mellow, when I hear others talk of "the game" I know what Moore meant. It is hockey that I'm leaving behind. It's "the game" that I'll miss.

Check availability here.

From Spineless to Incompent: A History of Leafs' GMs

Following a spirited debate at PPP that attempted to quantify the incompetence of former Leafs' GM John Ferguson Junior, the question came up as to who is the worst Leafs GM in the past 35 years.

In an homage to Down Goes Brown, I thought I’d take a quick look at all of the GMs that have managed my beloved Toronto Maple Leafs over the last 40 years to see just where JFJ's tenure ranks.

The candidates:
1969 – 1979 Jim Gregory
1979 – 1981 Punch Imlach
1981 – 1988 Gerry McNamara
1988 – 1989 Gord Stellick
1989 – 1991 Floyd Smith
1991 – 1997 Cliff Fletcher
1997 – 1999 Ken Dryden
1999 – 2003 Pat Quinn
2003 – 2008 JFJ

Part I: 1969 to 1989

1969 – 1979 Jim Gregory

Winning %: .506

Playoff Appearances: 8 for 10

Drafted: Darryl Sittler, Lanny MacDonald, Mike Palmateer, Ian Turnbull, Dave Tiger Williams, Doug Jarvis, Randy Carlyle, John Anderson, Joel Quenville

Best Trade: Acquired Bernie Parent and Rick Kehoe for Bruce Gamble, Mike Walton and a 1st round pick

Worst Trade: Doug Jarvis for Greg Hubick

The Back Story
Replaced Leaf GM Punch Imlach for the 1969-70 season (I wasn’t born yet). The 1976 season is the first Leaf club I can remember cheering for.

The Good
Gregory was one of the first GMs to recognize European talent, landing the Leafs Borje Salming and Inge Hammarstrom.

Drafted iconic Leafs MacDonald, Sittler, Palmateer and brought Roger Neilson into the NHL with his first head coaching gig.

The team knocked off the Islanders in 1977 and in 1978 made it to the Stanley Cup Finals (yeah, they were swept by the Habs but the team was on the right track).

The Bad
In a word: Ballard.

In 1971, Harold Ballard became majority owner of the Leafs, Maple Leaf Gardens and appointed himself President and Chairman of the Leafs’ Board.

Under Ballard’s direction the Leafs lost Bernie Parent to the WHA and let Dave Keon’s contract expire in 1975 (Ballard then blocked Keon’s attempted return to the NHL from the WHA in 1980 as the Leafs still owned his NHL rights).

Allegedly, it was Ballard who made the deal with Sam Pollock that sent future hall of famer Doug Jarvis to the Habs for 72 games of Greg Hubick.

The Crazy
In 1972, Ballard was sentenced to nine years in prison for 47 counts of fraud. Ultimately, he finished serving his sentence in 1973. Allegedly, it was during one of his stays in a correctional facility that the Leafs were able to sign Salming and Hammarstrom as Ballard was notorious for his opposition to European players.

Ballard forced Gregory to fire coach Roger Neilson and, when the players lobbied for Neilson’s re-instatement Ballard relented, but he asked Neilson to return wearing a bag over his head to start the game. Neilson, smartly, declined to wear the bag.

On the patented DGB How bad was it? 100 point scale: 80 – the Leafs fielded pretty competitive teams throughout the decade and amassed a fair amount of talent. By the end of the 1970s they were actively competing against the dynasties in Montreal and on Long Island. Unfortunately, that wasn't good enough and Ballard brought back Punch Imlach.

1979 - 1981 Punch Imlach

Winning %: .456

Playoff Appearances: 2 for 2

Notable draft picks: Craig Muni, Bob McGill, Jim Benning

Best Trade: Acquired Rick Vaive and Bill Derlago for Tiger Williams and Jerry Butler

Worst Trade: Dealt Lanny MacDonald for Wilf Paiment and Pat Hickey

The Back Story
As per an earlier post on the 1979-1980 Leafs, Punch Imlach was brought in by Harold Ballard to help get the Leafs over a, ahem, small hump known as the Montreal Canadiens.

The ‘79 Leafs were a promising club led by all-stars Darryl Sittler, Lanny MacDonald and Borje Salming, with a pretty solid supporting cast of Mike Palmateer, John Anderson, Dan Maloney, Ron Ellis and Joel Quenville.

The Good
The Leafs acquired future captain and 50 goal man Rick Vaive...and that’s pretty much it.

The Bad
Imlach promptly put his ugly stamp on the club by trading Lanny MacDonald - fan favourite, 48 goal man and best pal of captain Darryl Sittler - along with Joel Quenville to Colorado for future Leon’s furniture pitch-man Wilf Paiement and Pat Hickey (who in my child hood memories could only score on the backhand. 38 goals in 120 games isn' tbad, but he struck me as terrible).

The Crazy
Imlach’s tenure was a rocky one, marked by serious conflict with the players and what seemed to be a weekly heart attack.

He sued the NHLPA in an effort to keep Sittler, Palmateer and others out of my favourite boy-hood program: Showdown (Palmateer makes Jeff O'Neill look like a paragon of fitness in that clip).

Late in the 1979-80 season, Leafs coach Floyd Smith was injured in a car accident, and after Dick Duff stepped behind the bench for two bad losses, Imlach appointed himself Head Coach. Imlach went 5-5-0 before being swept by the Minnesota North Stars in the first round of the playoffs.

Imlach was never actually fired. After yet another heart attack (his third or fourth), he returned to work in November of 1981 only to find Gerry MacNamara had his job. In the end, Ballard just let Imlach’s contract expire.

On the patented DGB How bad was it? 100 point scale: 92. This was the beginning of a long downward slide, made all the more painful because of the actual promise the Leafs had showed. Just two years removed from their first appearance in the semi-finals in a decade and one year off a solid series against the Montreal Canadiens, the Leafs broke up a solid core of players and the team would not hit .500 again for a decade.


Harold Ballard, interim GM, August to December 1980
Little known leaf fact: In August of 1980, after Imlach suffered one of his 624 heart attacks, Ballard appointed himself interim GM of the Leafs. During this time, he took Darryl Sittler off the trade market, agreed that Sittler would return as the Leafs captain for the 1980-81 season and signed Borje Salming to a contract extension. Likely the two best things that rat bastard ever did for the Leafs.


1981 – 1988 Gerry McNamara

Winning %: .367 (that’s not a typo)

Playoff Appearances: 4 for 7 (that’s not a typo either)

Notable draft picks: Wendel Clark, Gary Leeman, Russ Courtnall, Al Iafrate, Todd the ever dangerous Gill, Vince Damphousse, Luke Richardson

Best Trade: um, Greg Terrion for a 4th round pick? Tom Fergus for Bill Derlago? Not much to choose from here...

Worst Trade: Sittler for Rich Costello, 2nd round pick and Ken Strong or 1st round pick (Scott Niedermayer) for Tom Kurvers.

The Back Story
Not much to tell. A former hockey player and career Leaf employee, McNamara had some success as a scout and had been an assistant GM to Imlach. As GM, he somehow lasted through seven disastrous seasons.

The Good
With the Leafs unable to compete on the ice, the team amassed a number of solid draft picks, including Wendel Clark.

They somehow managed to sweep the Hawks in ’86 and also made the second round of the playoffs in 1987.

Um, did I mention Wendel Clark?

The Bad
This could be a never ending post.

This is the era of the pedophilia ring at Maple Leaf Gardens.

The Leafs didn’t have a single winning season under McNamara.

Not once did they have a season where they scored more goals than they allowed.

In 1985, the Leafs won just twenty games and finished 32 games under .500

In a panic move, after keeping the Leafs’ first round draft picks for his entire tenure, McNamara deals the team’s first pick to New Jersey for Tom Kurvers. New Jersey went on to select Scott Neidermayer.

Before being fired, McNamara’s Leafs went on a 1-15-6 run, posting a single victory over 22 games.

The Crazy
The Sittler trade talks were so protracted, Sittler walked out on the Leafs under the advice of his physician and the deal still took two more weeks to go down.

McNamara kept his job for nearly a decade despite the team never breaking the 70 point barrier.

On the patented DGB How bad was it? 100 point scale: 95. McNamara re-defined incompetence. Despite having a number of high draft picks, the Leafs seemed permanently mired in mediocrity. In these times of three point games, its’ hard to imagine a club putting up a .367 winning percentage for a single season, never mind the better part of a decade. The only upside was there were zero expectations for the club. This wasn’t a team that flirted with success and broke your heart, this was a team that backed into the playoffs when the Red Wings had a 40 point season.

1988 – 1989 Gord Stellick

Winning %: .390 (28-46-8)

Playoff Appearances: 0 for 1

Notable draft picks: The all Belleville Bulls draft: Rob Pearson, Scott Thornton and Steve Bancroft (three first round picks, three duds).

Best Trade: Ken Wregget dealt for 2 first round picks

Worst Trade: Russ Courtnall for John Kordic

The Back Story

Gord Stellick was a member of the Leafs communications staff who was tapped in April 1988 to become the Leafs GM. He was the youngest GM in the history of the Leafs and the NHL. He lasted 18 months. Then it was on to a lifetime of broadcasting, pimpin' for weight loss programs and writing books about 1967, because that's what Leaf fans really want to be reminded of.

The Good

It was a short stay.

The Bad

Ballard continued his meddlesome ways, dictating coaching choices and player personnel moves.

Despite amassing draft picks, the Leafs drafted poorly.

The Crazy

The usual Ballard stuff.

Stellick resigned as GM when Ballard refused to let him hire his own coach for the 1989 season.

On the patented DGB How bad was it? 100 point scale: 90. More of the same terrible on-ice product, meddlesome ownership, poor drafting and lack of vision. At this point, being a Leaf fan was like being on some sort of long march to nowhere.


Coming Soon: Part II - Floyd Smith to JFJ (bookends of incompetence).

29 Years Later

When I was a boy, the Toronto Maple Leafs and McClelland and Stewart (don’t look for them, they’re not there anymore) published a cloth cover book on the upcoming 1979-80 Leafs' season.

I read that book so many times the spine is broken, the pages are frayed and the dust jacket is a nothing but a long-lost memory.

It was published at a time of real optimism for the Leafs. The team was just two years removed from their playoff upset over the New York Islanders and, even though they had gone down four straight to the dreaded Montreal Canadiens in the Quarter Finals, game 3 had gone to double OT and game 4 was lost in OT on a questionable call against Dave “Tiger” Williams.

This was a time when Sittler still wore the C, MacDonald patrolled his wing, an optimistic Ron Wilson started the season on IR and a porn ‘stached Palmateer protected the pipes.

As thoughts turn to this year’s training camp with its new coaches and new rosters, I couldn’t help but be reminded of this book and its in-depth player profiles including expectations for the 79-80 season and a day-by-day précis of the Leafs training camp.

Now, I’m not suggesting this year’s Leaf season will have any resemblance to that horrible one 30 years ago.

First of all, the year ahead for the 2008-09 Leafs certainly isn’t starting off with the same patina of optimism. Secondly, I seriously doubt the Leafs could hit the same low points as that fateful year that saw the MacDonald trade, Sittler ripping off his C and the start of a twelve year run of the team posting a losing record (yeah, you read that right – the Leafs were under .500 for twelve straight seasons: 1979-80 to 1992-93. Keep that in mind when the media wring their hands over the past three years.).

That summer also saw Ballard and Imlach pursue legal action all the way to the Ontario Supreme court in an effort to keep Sittler and Palmateer from participating in Showdown - a televised skills competition between NHL players. (There's a great collection of Showdown videos from the CBC archives here. Man I LOVED this show as a kid.)

With that caveat out of the way and in anticipation of the Leafs training camp to come, I thought I’d go back through one of my favourite childhood books, violate all sorts of copyright laws, scan a few photos, and have a look at some interesting quotes, thoughts and anecdotes from the Leafs 29 years ago this September…

The World From on High: An Interview with Harold Ballard

The book begins with a long, very wide-ranging interview between Time Magazine reporter John Gault and Harold Ballard, including a lengthy discussion between Gault and Ballard on the Neilson firing, re-hiring (the infamous paper bag incident). I promise I’ll post that whole exchange soon.

There are some interesting echoes in this interview - meddling owners, bad trades and the need for better scouting, as captured in the exchange below:

John Gault: Who’s been traded away, in the past five years, say, that you wish you had back?
Harold Ballard: Well, Rick Kehoe for instance, who went to Pittsburgh. Carlyle should have been kept here. And I think that probably Jack Valiquette should have stayed.

Gault: The return on players you’ve sent to other teams hasn’t been that great in the past while, has it?
Ballard: No. We’ve traded away some pretty good hockey players.

Gault: Yes, and it could be argued that you didn’t exactly get your return on your dollars
Ballard: You don’t have to argue about it, it’s a fact.

Gault: Why?
Ballard: I don’t think our scouting system was that good or they wouldn’t have agreed to make those trades. Now you’ve said that I try to run everything. I don’t. When they were going to make a deal, I’d say to [former GM Jim] Gregory ‘Are you sure you’re going to do it?’ You see, they would have gotten rid of Turnbull if I hadn’t asserted myself last year and stopped it. Roger and Gregory wanted to get rid of Turnbull and I wouldn’t allow it. He couldn’t get along with the coach, so the coach wanted to get rid of him. As a matter of fact, Roger was quite adamant about it and I said: ‘Look, if he’s going to go, you’re going to go to.’ It was that bad.

Gault: I doubt that Neilson would have argued that Turnbull wasn’t a good hockey player
Ballard: Well he did. He had these ‘points’ He was a great guy with those replays, those little pictures you know. And he used to pick out all the bad things Turnbull did, but he didn’t pick out many good things...

I love that Ballard seems totally put off by Neilson’s use of video replay, or as he calls it: “those little pictures.”

A Guide to the Opposition

The late Frank Orr, formerly of the Toronto Star, provides an overview of all 20 NHL teams the Leafs would face in 1979-80, including the four new WHA teams that joined the NHL: Edmonton, Quebec, Hartford and Winnipeg.

Here are a few of the highlights:

The Sabres are trying something new with a “coaching staff” approach - Scotty Bowman hired Roger Neilson and Jim Roberts as Assistant Coaches. Don Cherry said of the approach: “Scotty wants assistants so he’ll have someone to blame if something goes wrong.” Bowman’s take: “I agree with the Europeans. They can’t understand why NHL teams have figured one coach could do the job. It’s just too complex for that now.”

1979-80 was the first season for the Oilers and they sold 14,600 season tickets within 11 days of tickets going on sale. Coach Glen Sather says he has his highest hopes for young Swedish forward Bengt Gustavsson [who never played a game for the Oilers, the Capitals claimed him at the expansion draft in June, 1979.]

The Whalers roster included a 51 year old Gordie Howe and coach Don Blackburn says he wants to experiment with moving left-wing Mark Howe (42-23-65 in 1978) back to defence.

The New York Islanders (that season’s Stanley Cup champs) only had one skater over 28 on their roster and their entire core (Trottier, Bossy, Gillies, Potvin, etc.) were under 25.

The Penguins were having attendance problems and were facing red ink.

In the 1970s, free agents were anything but. The Red Wings signed “Free Agent” goaltender Rogie Vachon from the LA Kings and had to compensate the Kings for the signing. The teams couldn’t agree on fair compensation and the Kings asked for, and were awarded, Dale McCourt – the Wings’ leading rookie scorer. McCourt refused to report to LA and the dispute ended up in the US courts. The lower court upheld the original compensation. McCourt and the Wings appealed the decision, but before a second court date was set, the Wings and Kings agreed to an alternate compensation and McCourt was “dealt” back to the Wings.

The Flyers got a first round pick for what has to be the oddest named twosome ever dealt: Orest Kindrachuk and Ross Lonsberry.

Training Camp September, 1979

Leaf veterans arrived in camp with a new coach (Floyd Smith) and a new GM (Punch Imlach) as GM Jim Gregory and Coach Roger Neilson were both fired over the summer.

When Nielson returned to the Gardens as the assistant coach of the Sabres for a pre-season game, the Leafs refused to let him sit in the press box. Imlach said, "If Neilson wants to coach, let him coach from behind the bench. He won't be able to do it from our press box." (You stay classy Imlach!)

Looking to add some grit to the line-up, Imlach offered Jim Dorey a try-out with the Leafs. Ten years earlier, Dorey set an NHL record with nine penalties - four minors, two majors, two 10 minute misconducts and a game misconduct - in just two periods of play. [After being cut by the Leafs, Dorey would go on to play 32 games that year for the Nordiques and then call it a career.]

The Leafs played 12 exhibition games including matches in Moncton, NB; Ottawa, ON, Kitchener, ON; and against the Canadian Olympic team in Calgary (the Leafs lost to the Olympians 6-5, Lanny had a hat-trick. Apparently the Leafs had trouble with the Olympians speed. And no, I didn't just make that up...)

The Leafs played the Habs in game 11 of their pre-season and actually won. It was the first time the Leafs had beaten Montreal in 25 straight meetings. The Leafs hadn't beaten Montreal in an exhibition, regular season or playoff game since November 1, 1976.

Future Washington Capitals coach Bruce Budreau was amongst the Leafs last cuts at camp, getting sent to Moncton on day 17.

Interesting to note that this club would produce at least four NHL coaches in Quennville, Anderson, Boudreau and Ron Wilson (and one cottage-country bar owner in Walt McKechnie).

Money quotes:

"I guess having a new coach always creates a little feeling of unrest because you wonder about the style of hockey he'll want the team to use and how you'll fit into it." - Ron Wilson.

"There are some holes in our team, aren't there?" - Floyd Smith

The Players



Each of the 24 Leafs who made the team out of training camp are profiled at the end of the book. It's the standard 20 questions format - why hockey, what would you be doing if you weren't in the NHL, superstitions, activities away from the rink, personal goals...Here's a look at the highlights:

"I like the hours. It's not a nine to five job. You have the summers off to do what you want and, of course, the money isn't bad." - John Anderson on the Pros and Cons of Sports Celebrity.

"I would have liked to get into a veterinary line of work or work with wildlife" - Dan Maloney on alternate career prospects.

"I never set personal goals for myself; the only goal is the Stanley Cup. When you start setting personal goals you're putting pressure on yourself and that kind of pressure you don't need. When I get my first goal I'll go for number two and so on. You take whatever comes. Winning the Stanley Cup and playing international hockey: that's the ultimate, to play for your country. I've already done one and, hopefully, befoer the end of my career, I'll accomplish the other." - Lanny MacDonald

"Amityville Horror and Penthouse are favourites." - Joel Quennville on what he likes to read.

"Mr. Ballard. Yeah, I'm serious." - Dave "Tiger" Williams on his favourite opponent

"I'll just play until I stop enjoying it. If I don't play a lot this year or next year I may hang up the game because it's no fun sitting on the bench." - Ron Wilson

Cheering for Laundry

It's my understanding that Stephen Brunt is a Cleveland Browns fan.

Think about this for a minute.

The man that is, arguably, the best sports writer in Canada cheers for a team that won its last Championship in 1964 and hasn’t won its division since 1989.

A 40+ year drought, bad ownership and no short-term success on the horizon.

Sound familiar?

Yet, up to 16 times a year, Brunt cheers on a team that didn’t even exist from 1996 to 1999; a club the NFL actually “deactivated.”

Now, I don’t know if he collects jerseys, if he wears a dog-mask in his living room on Sunday afternoons or if he gets misty at dinner parties when the topic turns to the death of Jim Brown’s character at the end of the Dirty Dozen.

But this is where his heart resides.

While I have no sense of the depth of Brunt’s fanaticism for the Browns, it does lead me to a larger question: Can you extract the team from the ownership and general idiocy that surrounds it? Can you separate the action on the ice, diamond, pitch or field from the suits/idiots in the corridors of power?

Or is fandom more like a marriage – you fall in love with the team, but you marry the whole family?

As a Leaf fan, it’s pretty obvious why this question is of interest to me.

On the Origins of Fandom: Geography, Patricide and Cheap Souvenirs

I likely became a Leaf fan simply because I was born in Toronto. Geography was destiny. Had I been born in my mum’s home town of Kingston, I’d give even odds that I’d have been a Habs fan (as half of my dirt-eating Ottawa valley family seem to be).

Geography aside, I can remember arguing with my Grandfather in his tiny home in Inverary, Ontario about Ian Turnbull (I was for, he was against). It may have been the first time I stood up to an adult. I remember begging my father to buy me a newspaper so I could look at the pictures of the Leafs eliminating the Islanders in ’78. I remember listening to Leafs on the radio as they went up against the mighty Flyers in ’79 and the elation of waking up to find out Mike Palmateer somehow led the team to a tie.

My first inkling that something was rotten with Leafs ownership didn’t come until Lanny MacDonald was traded and Sittler stripped off the C. I was eight, maybe nine, years old. I still had hope. Clearly I didn’t know any better.

Sometime around 1980-'81 my father came home from a business trip to St. Louis and gave me a Cardinals batting practice jersey. This simple off-white cotton-poly blend with three-quarter length red sleeves has led to nearly three decades of supporting a National League team some 1,200 kilometers away.

My pops liked Joe Theismann because of his days with the Argos (Joe’s, not my Dad’s). When Theismann went to the Washington Redskins, the New York Giants became my team. There’s nothing quite like being a contrarian 12 year old l'il bastard who picks a team simply to cheer against one's father.

A Poll of Sorts

I’d like to know why you cheer for your favourite team.

Was it the smell of the grass in the old Tiger Stadium? A trip to Buffalo to see the Bills back in the days of Kelly, Thomas and Reed? An especially delicious hot fudge sundae from Dairy Queen served in a Mariners cap? Or maybe it was just to spite a certain someone who insisted on cheering for the Yankees, Cowboys, Lakers or Habs?

Please post a comment and tell your story.

I think it's time we shared these stories as a rejoinder to those who question why people cheer for a team with history of failure and mismanagement.

I think it's time for the media to stop and reflect before they call fans stupid for supporting teams with venal owners or teams that don't appear to have a championship on even the most distant horizon.

I'm guessing (and sort of hoping) that the lesson from all of these personal stories is that no fan ever fell in love with a team, player or sport because of an ownership structure, player development policies, salary cap discipline or management style.

We'll see...

Sidebar Blues

I’m contemplating a response to Steve Maich's inept Macleans piece on why the Leafs Stink (and wondering when Masthead Magazine or the Ryerson Reveiw of Journalism will feature their cover story on why Macleans Magazine stinks. I've got a few insights I can offer up...)

In the interim, while the Leafs clean-out their lockers and Leafs Nation turns its lonely eyes to Monday's draft lottery (C'mon Phoenix - 24th place is still within the Leafs grasp!) I thought I'd have a quick go at the side-bar that accompanies the larger Macleans piece.

The sidebar, by Chris Selley (whose reporting I usually like) looks at the Leafs' worst deals as part of the overall, so-called "examination" as to why the Leafs, uh, suck.

Of the seven trades cited by Macleans, any hockey fan would agree that the top three deals - Mahovolich, Sittler and MacDonald - were all terrible deals for the club, the franchise and the fans.

No debate here.

In fact, I think most sports fans will attest it’s difficult to look back at these franchise altering trades – one can't help but wonder what the GM was thinking and maybe even daydream a little about what could have been. I can’t imagine how difficult it is for an Islanders fan to look back on the Milbury era.

After these top three trades, Macleans is far less persuasive. When you have 40 years of transactions to draw upon, there's going to be more than a few mistakes. I suspect the Leafs aren't any better or any worse than most NHL clubs. But that doesn't exactly fit with the "subtle" narrative of a Leafs suck cover story.

I’m not sure that the Kordic for Courtnall deal is really deserving of a top seven notation, and if it is, the Leafs clearly haven’t too much to be ashamed about. Down Goes Brown wrote an admirable defense of this trade and the reason it was completed – his take is worth the read (more so than the entire Macleans side-bar).

As for the rest of the list, I'm going to split some hairs.

Tom Kurvers for Scott Neidermayer, should actually be Kuvers for a first round pick (who turned out to be Scott Niedermayer). Given that the Leafs of the late 80s thought scouting referred to teams playing between Oshawa and Belleville and were all but wholly reliant on Central Scouting reports for their draft table, I’m doubtful the awful 1988 Leaf club would have drafted Neidermayer. Yeah, it’s still a terrible trade, but call it what it is – a deal for a pick that turned out amazingly well for the New Jersey Devils.

Kenny Jonsson and Roberto Luongo for Wendel Clark and Mathieu Schneider is another deal where it was a pick that was dealt and that pick turned out to be Roberto Luongo. To suggest that the Leafs would have drafted Luongo is a stretch at best and misleading at worst.

Something to bear in mind when looking at deals like these two: Robert Picard was dealt for a third round pick that turned out to be Patrick Roy. If it’s positioned as Picard for Roy, it’s clearly one of the worst deals of all time. But a player like Picard for a third round pick is a deal many a GM pulls off each and every year.

Steve Sullivan for nothing – this wasn’t a trade, it was a questionable waiver wire decision. The Leafs chose to protect Dmitri Khristich in lieu of Sullivan, admittedly a mistake. While Macleans cites Sullivan's “impressive 180 goals and 281 assists in 520 games” they fail to mention Sullivan’s annual invisibility act in the playoffs (ask folks in Nashville about that one). It's the main reason the Quinn administration deemed Sullivan expendable.

Maybe I expect too much from a news magazine that promises to enlighten and engage. Maybe as a Leafs fan I expect the Doug Jarvis for Greg Hubick deal to make the list (or at least make the list ahead of a waiver wire transaction).

It also might have been nice for Macleans to have provided a bit context to help readers better understand these deals - what do NHL experts make of them? How do these deals compare to other deals being made at the time? Where do these transactions fit in alongside some of the top trades of the past 40 years.

Of course, had they done so, transactions 4 through 7 wouldn't look so bad. They're no Red Berenson for Ted Taylor*

*Certainly, none of the Leaf transaction rival any of the all-time great one-sided deals like Cam Neely and a first round pick for Barry Pederson; Gretzky from Indianapolis to Edmonton for future considerations; Alek Stojanov for Markus Naslund; the original Lindros deal for Forsberg and $15MM; Patrick Roy and Mike Keane for Jocelyn Thibault, Martin Rucinsky, and Andrei Kovalenko; Luongo for Bertuzzi; Pavol Demitra for Christer Olsson; Briere for Gratton; or Mark Messier for Louie DeBrusk, Bernie Nicholls, and Steven Rice or (heaven forbid Macleans mention it) maybe even Gilmour, Macoun, Wamsley, Natress and Manderville for Leeman, Petit, Reese, Berube, and Godynyuk.

More Old Hockey Programs

Time once again for a look at an old Leafs Program - a Saturday night game on November 12, 1983 – Toronto Maple Leafs v. Philadelphia Flyers.

At 150+ pages, this is one big program. Does anyone know how many pages a current game program is, I'd love to compare page counts (yeah, I'm geeky like that).

Back to the night in question...I was 12 years old at the time of this tilt, but I have no memory of the game. The program cover has Mike Palmateer in a cage mask and helmet, sporting old brown leather pads that are likely the same size as those worn by Atom goalies today.

It may be three years later than the last program I looked at, but the opening letter from Harold Ballard hasn’t changed much. There’s a new paragraph about the Leafs exciting first round match-up against the Minnesota North Stars in the previous season (I do remember the Leafs losing that last match against the Stars in OT, a flopping Palmateer prone on the ice while the puck spiraled in above him). Pal Hal has toned down his assessment of the club somewhat, noting “the ultimate goal is to win the Stanley Cup and I believe we are headed in the right direction with a blend of solid veterans and promising youths.”

Just like the last program I looked at from 1980, John Anderson and his burger empire get a big write up - this time it’s the lead article. Playing on a line with Petr Ihnaccak and Miroslav Frycer, Anderson jokes “I’m thinking of changing my name to Johnaslav Anderchak.” No word on any plans to offer Smažený Sýr on the menu at his burger empire, which at the time of publication was up to eight outlets.

Boston Bruin Rick Middleton is the subject of the second article, a rather laudatory piece with Wayne Cashman calling Middleton “the most exciting one-on-one player in hockey today, bar none” (I'm guessing Cashman hadn't watched any Oiler games) and Scotty Bowman saying Middleton was the second best player at the 1981 Team Canada camp. The best quote in the article though goes to none other than Mr. Donald. S. Cherry:

When Rick Middleton came to the Bruins he was chicken. On defence, he wouldn’t even stick his foot in front of a shot. When we got through with him, he’d stick his face in front of one.

Each team within the Norris Division gets a mini-profile. When I read the Leafs profile the first thing that came to mind was the movie Groundhog Day. Sure, it’s 24 years ago, but once again the experts aren’t sure what to make of the Leafs. That 1983 Leaf team was seen as lacking in depth and thin in terms of prospects (they list Gary Nylund and Gary Leeman (?) as two promising young defencemen). One big difference? The club had a middling previous season, going 5-21-7 in their first 33 games – if that happened today, the ACC would be burned to the ground and Leafs senior management would have their heads put on pikes at the entrance to the city as a warning to others.

The St. Louis Blues get an interesting, almost surreal write-up. I knew the team had some tough times in the past and had proposed a move to Saskatoon, but I had no idea how bad it actually was. According to this article:

Throughout each round of last summer’s entry draft at the Montreal Forum, NHL Executive Vice-President Brian O’Neill would turn to his right, face a large table with a St. Louis Blues logo in the middle and ask 10 empty chairs if they’d like to select a player. Unfortunately, furniture does not communicate very well and O’Neill was forced to continue on with the next order of claim…the organization – its proposed move to Saskatoon nullified by the NHL Board of Governors – had no arena to play in, no front office, no general manager, no coach and no scouts – thus, the empty chairs.

The Blues didn’t get a single pick in that draft, but were bought by Harry Ornest in July of 1983 and the team managed to stay afloat in St. Louis. The story of the draft sounds too crazy to be true...oh, if only youtube were around in 1982...

Rounding out the rest of the 1983 Norris Division: Minnesota is apparently in need of leadership, the Blackhawks will be turning to Murray Bannerman to help spell a 40 year old Tony Esposito and the Detroit Red Wings are looking to pin their future on an 18 year old Steve Yzerman and a 19 year old Lane Lambert (Lambert is sure to be a “whatever happened to…” in a future Simmons column).

Next up is a two-page spread with a crazy cartoon drawing of the NHL’s first-team all-stars: Lanny MacDonald, Dennis Savard, Michel Goulet, Paul Coffey, Roland Melanson and Ray Borque. I really need to get to a scanner…

Three useless bits of trivia from page A-16 of the program:

1. Ron Sutter’s first goal against John Garret and the Quebec Nordiques was history in the making – never before had five brothers scored an NHL goal;
2. The Flyers-Penguins 0-0 tie was 139th time an NHL game ended in a scoreless draw; and
3. Philadelphia’s Bobby Clarke is the only player to have played in both the 1972 Soviet NHL Series and the 1982-83 Super Series.

The prize for the most-misleading headline ever written goes to: "Celebrities in the Crowd – Personalities from many walks of life number themselves among hockey’s most avid fans.”

You’d think this article would be a look at the wide variety of famous or semi-famous people who are hockey fans. Um, well, it’s actually about the US Hockey Hall of Fame in Eveleth, Minnesota. Apparently, due to the extreme climate during the winter in Eveleth the hall isn’t drawing attendees (go figure). The other gem from this article: each inductee to the hall (57 as of 1983) is enshrined on a pylon. That’s right, a pylon. The perfect symbol to honour and recognize the best in hockey…the article concludes with a three paragraph blurb on Jane Fonda who says, “We’re not exactly at The Forum every game, but we go when we can. It’s a fun thing to do.” The headline mis-match is so bad, I have to presume something went wrong in production...

Oddest advert so far – new Kleenex “Man-Size” tissues (Ick. Feel free to write your own punch-line). The ad photo is a close up of a man’s suit jacket, the catchy copywriting: “Instead of a cotton hankerchief.” Amazing that these never caught on…

Petr Ihnacak is the subject of a very well-written, but sadly uncredited, profile. It details Petr’s escape from the Czech Republic at a hockey tournament in Finland (his brother set-up a boat trip to Stockholm where the US Embassy arranged for Petr's immigration). It’s amazing to think back on the trials and tribulations players went through trying to get out of the eastern bloc. Near the end of the article Ihnacak talks about the prospect of never seeing his Czech mother again…

Most ridiculous sub-head? The Leafs won a slo-pitch tournament and another un-credited writer wonders if “Winning the Molson Slo-Pitch Classic Could Give the Leafs a Big Boost.” Yes, because if the history of hockey has taught us anything it’s that to build a cup winner your team must excel in the off-season at a beer-fueled sport.

For those Leaf fans that need the details, the Leafs snuck through the quarter finals against the Detroit Red Wings on the strength of a grand-slam from Walt Podubny. They destroyed the Calgary Flames 26-8 in the semis (Calgary’s just never had the pitching) setting up a match-up with the defending champion Los Angeles Kings. No score is listed, but as the Leafs won I think one can safely assume Kerry Fraser wasn’t around to ump. Bill Derlago was the Leafs MVP with 8 RBI in the championship game. In other extraneous news, the Campbell Conference beat the Wales 11-9 in the slo-pitch all-star game. Marcel Dionne and Bernie Nichols combined for four homers and seven RBI.

The rosters – it’s a leaf team I can actual recall from my youth, but once again Leeman is listed as a defenceman. Is this really so? Did he really start out with the Leafs on D? Why don't I have any recollection of this?

Here’s the bulk of the roster from that November night: Palmateer and Rick St. Croix between the pipes. Benning, Leeman, Gingras, Korn, Farrish and Salming on D. Derlago, Vaive, Anderson, Daoust, Terrion, Gavin, Frycer, Ihnacak, Harris, and Dale McCourt up-front (I have no idea who forwards Pat Graham and Greg Britz are).

The Patrick and Smythe Division each get a quick preview. The Islanders remain the team to beat in the Patrick, while David Poile’s Caps are hoping to build on the 94 points they racked up the previous year. In the Smythe division, Edmonton draws the accolades and Al Cotes, the assistant GM in Calgary offers up a beauty quote: “We realized in order to compete with the Oilers, we needed to add a lot of team speed. We think we’ve done that in obtaining Steve Tambelini and Steve Bozek.” Yeah – the two Steves were just what Calgary needed to take on the Oil…

And then it’s time for the Leaf Quiz, 10 quick multiple choice questions about the record holder for all-time games played as a Leaf (George Armstrong); Most points as a rookie (Ihnacak – 62); Only leaf to score 100 points (Sittler); Last Leaf to win the Lady Byng (Keon); etc.

Rick Drennan (finally, a writer gets a credit) turns in a nice piece on Bill Barilko and the Leafs policy of honouring, not retiring, player numbers. It features this interesting aside: “The only other sweater that’s off-limits to Leafs is No. 13 – for obvious reasons. ‘Hockey people are a superstitious bunch,’ [Leaf trainer Greg] Kinnear says. ‘The policy for not having a number 13 goes way back to when the Leafs were formed.’”

Wonder when that policy changed? Has anyone told Mats?

Matt Carlson writes an article that could easily be re-run today, some 24 years later: The NHL Knows it Can’t Operate in the US south, but right now it’s not interested. Harold Ballard, of all people, sounds pretty rational in this piece, calling for a shift to Canadian expansion, pointing out that the US has continually failed to sell it’s product south of the border, while, “there isn’t one Canadian team that needs financial help.”

In a national survey commissioned by the NHL and Miller Brewing, only 6% of American sports fans said they are always interested in watching hockey and 52% said they would never watch games (52%!). In light of the survey results, NHL President John Zeigler says the NHL needs to change its mission “...to interest fans locally and regionally where our fans already are. We are not dedicating a great deal of effort to selling hockey in places where there is little interest now. We don’t see our future there.” Maybe that Zeigler was on to something...

The celebrities return with an extended one-on-one interview with Norman Jewison, "Hollywood's Avid Hockey Fan." The photo of a young Gretzky with Goldie Hawn, Burt Reynolds and Phil Esposito in front of what looks like a Buffalo Sabres rug/wall-hanging is pure gold.

Chris Zelkovich (who know calls the Toronto Star home) turns in a cringe-inducing fake Q&A piece called “Hockey Nut in Canada” A small taste is all you need:

Dear Hockey Nut, Who is the best right winger in hockey?
Without a doubt, Peter Pocklington

Yikes. Keep this in mind next time Zelkovich files a column on the state of sports media today…

Another golden advert - a permed out Gary Carter pimpin' some sporty casuals from Penmans. Elastic waistband rugger pants anybody?

And it's all wrapped up with a final photo montage of players with their tongues hanging out, called "Tongue Twisters"

Tag - I'm it...

Got tagged by Pension Plan Puppets with this popular blog feature...thought I'd play along. I hope the other Leaf bloggers jump in the fray too...

Team: The Leafs (I once had a very vivid dream that the Leafs drafted me and then traded me to the Habs. I was amazed to be in the NHL, stunned at having to play against the Buds. I awoke very conflicted.)

Uniform Number: I wore 16 for years, but due to high demand for that particular number, I’ve been wearing 37 - Cool Hand Luke’s chain-gang number - for the past few years.

Position: Wing

Nickname: Bob Cole likes to call me “the Leaf winger” or “Leaf player.” Everyone else calls me some variant of my name ending in a long “e”

Dream Linemates: Lanny and Mats.

Rounding out the PP: Salming and Bingo Kampman (he of the all time greatest Leaf name)

Job: Do whatever the team asks and do it well: garbage goals, cheap second assists, heart and soul PK-guy, sitting in the box for bench minors, rooming with some late round pick from Kyrgyzstan who’s got golden hands trying to teach him enough English so that he can let Leafs Nation know that he’s "hoping to help the big club" and he’s "taking it one shift at a time" and that he'll make sure he "gives 110%"

Signature Move: Wheezing so hard that my mouth guard goes flying across the ice, coming to rest at an official’s skate as a national Hockey Night in Canada audience looks on in disgust. That or chip it out and chase it…

Strengths: Brains over hands – in my dreams I play like a vintage Carboneau or a Gainey – in reality I just try to get to the blue paint. Most of my goals don’t hit the back of the net.

Weaknesses: Ref-baiting, been known to get the odd 10 minute misconduct for lippin’ off (though my mouth guard makes my trash talk sound as coherent as Essa Tikanen full of goldschlager).

Injury Problems: “Upper body”

Equipment: Old-school Sherwood PMP 5030 with the Coffey curve

Nemesis: Anybody that showboats. When you score a goal, you should act like you’ve done it before.

Scandal Involvement: A big black mark for gleefully backing-up Chelios’ death-threats against the Commish.

Who I’d face in the Stanley Cup Finals: I lived in Edmonton for a while and, believe it or not I have fond memories, so I’ll go with the Oil (if it’s my dream, it’s got to be an all-Canada final and Edmonton is far better than even imagining Calgary or Vancouver being there).

What I’d do with the Stanley Cup after our victory: I think there's a by-law on the books that, given the current cup drought, when the Leafs finally win it they will have to parade the Cup down every paved road in Ontario and 50% of the unpaved ones. I’m hoping my assigned route is more of the paved/urban variety.

Would the media love me or hate me?: They’d all come to me for insight and analysis but forget to cite me as a source…I’d be a tad too sycophantic with the media higher-ups looking for a big money gig with CBCTSNSportsnetTheScore once my playing days were done (only to find out the best offer I could hope for is a part-time gig on OTR as Michael Landsbergh's PA)

JFJ Redux

I heard JFJ on the Fan590 Wednesday evening and I have to say I actually felt sorry for the guy.

McCown and Brunt asked him about his contract status at MLSE and JFJ spoke openly and honestly about his desire to remain GM of the Leafs and to secure a longer-term deal. It might have been the first time that I’ve felt he came across as a genuine person.

Based on that interview and the panel discussion that followed, I have a strong feeling that MLSE is going to ink Ferguson to a longer-term deal.

I came to this conclusion not as a result of heavy analysis, insider knowledge, or any brilliant gems that the talking heads offered-up at 5:45 on a Wednesday night.

No, I came to this conclusion mostly because this is the Leafs and extending JFJ is the wrong thing to do - so odds are it’s going to happen.

If there’s anything my three decade long one-way love affair with the Leafs has taught me it’s that this is an organization that likes to do things the difficult way and that 9 times out of 10 they like to make the wrong decision (please refer to: Sittler and MacDonald, treatment of; Roger Neilson and the paper bag; Carl Brewer’s come-back; Fred Boimstruck; trading Randy Carlyle; Brophy’s tenure; Courtnall for Kordic; Nimrod; Nykoluk; Nyland; Draft schmaft; the Gardens closing ceremony; the Smith-Dryden-Quinn triumvirate; Rick Ley's line-up cards; Post-lockout contracts for Belfour, Domi, Belak; the Jason Allison experiment; trading first round picks four times in the past 10 years; and on and on and on...)

Let me be clear about this: JFJ may be one helluva nice guy. He may be a smart hockey man; he may one day be a giant among NHL executives. But at the moment, he’s still a GM feeling his way and that’s not what this club needs. This club needs the best mind in hockey and, no offense to JFJ, he’s not that guy.

Let me put it in starker terms. According to Stats Canada, the average life span of a Canadian male is 75 years. That means I’ve got about 40 more chances to see the Leafs win the Cup before I kick the bucket. The last thing I need is to waste another 2 or 3 of those chances while JFJ goes about learning his job. JFJ's hesitant tenure is, if you will, killing me.

JFJ has been GM of the Leafs since 2003. This is his fourth year and third season as GM of the Leafs. The sum total of his achievements – a second round exit in his first year with the club; a post-lockout scramble that resulted in missing the playoffs for the first time since 1997-’98 and lots of questionable player personnel moves. (As an aside, if any of you readers seriously believe for one second that JFJ wasn’t in charge until this year – stop reading here. Seriously. Even if you were remotely right – and you are not - there’s only one conclusion that can be drawn from that line of thinking: JFJ has no cojones and should have resigned his post if he had to play second fiddle or manage while shackled by the board. If he’s that weak of a man, I don’t want him running the team.)

The sum total that JFJ has added to the Leafs on-ice product? 12 of 28 players. And of the 12 who have JFJ’s stamp on them, half are marginal role players who will likely be back in the AHL by the mid-point of this season:

1. Jean Sebastian Aubin - UFA signed 2004
2. Bates Battaglia –AHL reclamation project. Will likely return to the A
3. Hal Gill – UFA signed 2006
4. Chad Kilger – Claimed off waivers
5. Pavel Kubina – UFA signed 2006
6. Jeff O’Neill – Acquired post-lockout for a draft pick
7. Ben Ondrus – AHL reclamation project. Will likely return to the A
8. Michael Peca – UFA signed 2006
9. John Pohl – AHL reclamation project. Will likely return to the A
10. Andrew Raycroft - Acquired for Tukka Rask
11. Aleksander Suglobov – Acquired for Ken Klee - looks great in the press box
12. Andy Wozniewski – Likely headed to the Marlies when the D overcome injuries

The rest of the team were all here prior to JFJ's arrival:

1. Nik Antropov – drafted 1998
2. Wade Belak – 2001 Waiver Claim
3. Brendan Bell – drafted 2000
4. Carlo Colaiacovo – drafted 2001
5. Jay Harrison – drafted 2001
6. Tomas Kaberle – drafted 1996
7. Staffan Kronwall – drafted 2002
8. Bryan McCabe – Acquired in trade for Karpotsev
9. Alexei Ponikarovsky – drafted 1998
10. Matt Stajan – drafted 2002
11. Alex Steen – drafted 2002
12. Mats Sundin – Acquired in trade for Clark
13. Darcy Tucker – Acquired in trade for Mike Johnson and Marek Posmyk
14. Michael Tvelquist – drafted 2000
15. Kyle Wellwood – drafted 2001
16. Ian White – drafted 2002

Some of JFJ’s other questionable moves:

• Acquiring Brian Leetch for all of 15 games
• re-signing Belfour to that goofy contract
• thinking the lock-out would be short term
• not buying-out Belfour post-lockout
• being caught flat footed post-CBA
• Inking Domi to a two-year contract
• all of his post-CBA player acquisitions being uniformly busts
• whiffing at last year’s trade deadline
• failing to recognize that the Leafs may have had the talent on-hand to win all year (but continued to deploy the plodding Allison, the creaky Belfour and the shaky Khavanov)
• Giving McCabe a no-movement clause – the first of its type in the NHL
• Extending Belak's contract

This is not the stuff Championships are made of. This is not the stuff that warrants mid-season contract extensions and this is not the stuff that slightly increases the odds of the Leafs winning the cup before some very important personal StatsCan indicators kick-in.

I think the Leafs owe it to JFJ and his family to either put a bullet in him or ink him to a new deal.

If I were on the MLSE Board, I’d thank JFJ for his time, provide him with a nice reference and move him along or offer him a more junior post with the club. This team needs the best mind in hockey, not a guy who’s still learning as he goes.

Rivalries

I'm glad the Leafs won G2 in Ottawa and not for the simple reason that I'm a leaf fan - the reason I'm glad the Leafs won goes a little deeper than that.

You see, I don't think the Leafs and Sens have much of a rivalry - despite what the media files to sell industrial fasteners.

With all this talk of the Leafs Sens "rivalry" and with the Habs coming to town on Saturday night, my brain served up an age old quote from Ken Dryden's seminal book The Game.

Over 28 pages in the middle of the book, Dryden beautifully describes a road trip to Toronto to play the Leafs near the end of the 1979 season.

He concludes:

There is no Leafs-Canadiens rivalry. It's dead: the Leafs killed it.

I remember being shocked as a 12 year old hockey nut when I read it and I’ve never forgotten those two simple sentences.

Not to put words in his mouth (he certainly has enough of his own) Dryden’s take on rivalry is that you need to have legitimate competition between rivals or else it dies.

The rise and fall of the Leafs in the late 70s is well known: management's failure to find adequate support for the promising core of Palmateer, Salming, MacDonald and Sittler; their inability to draft and develop talent coupled with a bad string of short-sighted trades, led to the decline of what could have been a very good team.

This decline in the Leafs came at a time when the Habs were losing about 12 games a season and racking up Cup after Cup. To Dryden’s point: not much competition in that – not much of a rivalry.

It’s not much different from the Leafs and Sens (not to say the Sens are anywhere near the level of that Habs dynasty, despite what Muckler might want us to believe). The Leafs may own the Sens in the post-season, but they’ve had their asses handed to them by the Sens in the regular season for years. Having your club go 1-7 in the regular season makes it hard to get up for a mid-February match against the skaters from the 613.

But never mind the media or my yapping, what about the perspective of Leafs Nation?

Offer a Leaf fan a choice of any games to attend at the ACC and hands down the Habs would be number one. Leafs tickets are hard enough to come by at the best of times, but just try to get a ticket to a Saturday night Habs match-up in this town.

I'd wager the Wings come in at #2 – partly because of the history between these two clubs and partly because they play so few games against each other these days. The third ticket goes to the Flyers. The fourth ticket? I think the average fan is going to chose to see Crosby or Ovechkin. That puts the Sens no higher than 5th on the hit list and they might just be neck and neck with the Sabres.

Think about that for a minute. Our great rival is a fifth or sixth choice ticket? This is what great rivalries are made of? Would a Red Sox fan pick four teams ahead of a chance to see the Yankees? Oilers and Flames fans pass each other by? I don’t think so…

Then there’s the history or rather, the lack of it.

The Habs and Leafs have been going at it for more than 75 years, never mind the whole French Canada/ English Canada divide.

The Leafs and Wings have been throwing elbows and lighting the lamp longer than Kanata's had paved roads.

The Leafs and Flyers had the crazy battles of the 70s and the Flyers have pulled the plug on the Leafs last few post-season plans.

The Sens have been around for what, 14 years? For the first five of those the Leafs were facing off against guys like Sylvain Turgeon, Peter Sidorkiweicz and Randy Cunneyworth. Throw in a year of labour stoppage, a year of role reversal with Jason Alison cast as your choice of Laurie Boschman, Gary Dineen or Dave Archibald and you've got maybe seven years of competitive hockey between these two clubs. Maybe.

Sorry, it's just not enough.

What about geography? Please. Ottawa as a town isn't even on the average Torontonian's radar. The Town-That-Fun-Forgot is further away than both Buffalo and Detroit and is only about 80 clicks closer than Montreal. To give it a bit more perspective Pittsburgh is just a shade further away than Ottawa. Steel-Town is likely a lot more fun too.

So we share the same Premier, big deal.

Reciprocity? Might be nice if both sides got as worked up about this. Ottawa fans may froth at the mouth over Toronto, but it's a one-way gig and it will likely be lessened now that the cap has eliminated the Leafs economic advantage.

Sure, the Leafs may have knocked the Sens out of the post-season 4 times, but Buffalo has now delivered the death blow three times, so it's not like the Leafs are unique in this regard.

One team has dominated the regular season series and the other the post-season match-ups. There’s not much fun in that.

A chance that these two-teams might actually give each other a run for the money? Now, that’s got some potential…